The Lady-like Test
1. Must be born a lady. (NO EXCEPTION)
2. Must be heterosexual. (NO EXCEPTION)
3. Can't chew gum in public.
4. No burping.
5. No passing gas in public.
6. Can't wear brown (black) belt with black (brown) shoes.
7. Can't wear brown (black) shoes with black (brown) purse.
8. No dating a man who owns his own bowling ball.
9. No dating a man who owns his own pair of roller-skates.
10. LADIES ARE NEVER HOT!
11. Ladies never use the phrase "...turn me on..."
12. Never wear scuffed heels.
13. No dirty fingernails!
14. Ladies don't sweat.
15. Can't own a truck that you can't get into in a dress.
16. Ladies don't blow their nose in public.
17. Ladies always know when jewelry is too much! (i.e.. five rings on one hand).
18. Ladies don't use their chest as a wallet.
19. Ladies never let their roots show.
20. Ladies don't wear white shoes, EVER!
21. Ladies don't pick their nose.
22. No straddling chairs.
23. Ladies only bend at the knees, never at the waist.
24. Shoes can't be darker than your hem line.
25. Ladies don't use toothpicks in public.
26. Ladies don't "pee"!
27. Ladies don't swear.
28. Ladies don't ask gentlemen out.
29. Ladies never take another's man.
30. Ladies always wear slips with dresses or skirts.
31. Ladies never use the phrase "...fart on it..."
32. Ladies don't bite their fingernails.
33. No spitting!
34. Ladies don't use premenstrual syndrome as an excuse to be unlady like.
35. * LADIES GO TO MARDI GRAS *
