Comfort: Part 2

Okay, so we as humans require comfort for many reasons, discussed in Part 1. But where should we turn? Why should I pray to God for comfort?

The apostle Paul explains his view in his second letter to the Corinthian church, as he describes his own need for comfort. He was being persecuted, attacked, threatened, and feared even death.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For, just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." ~2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Paul refers to God as "the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort." Wow! This is pretty bold. If indeed God is the ultimate in offering compassion and the Lord over all comfort, I want to ask him for these things. I want them for myself. I want them for those that I love. I want to receive this comfort so that I can share it with others, just as Paul describes his own experience.

If you are seeking this comfort as well, for yourself or others, here are a few more promises from God to encourage you:

"Even though I walk
 through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
 your rod and your staff,
they comfort me." ~Psalm 23:4

"My comfort in my suffering is this:
 Your promise preserves my life." ~Psalm 119:50

"Shout for joy, you heavens;
 rejoice, you earth;
 burst into song, you mountains! 
For the Lord comforts his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted ones." ~Isaiah 49:13

"The Lord will surely comfort Zion
 and will look with compassion on all her ruins;
 he will make her deserts like Eden,
 her wastelands like the garden of the Lord.
 Joy and gladness will be found in her,
 thanksgiving and the sound of singing." ~Isaiah 51: 3 

Comfort: Part 1

Part 1: Comfort... Do we need it?

I have realized recently that I pray often for comfort, for myself and for friends and loved ones. When I pray in this way, it's not physical comfort to which I am referring, like a hot shower or a cozy bed, but spiritual comfort. True comfort. As I realized how much I have been using this word, pleading for this reality, I took some time to stop and think about what it is that I am seeking and why, what comfort really means, and how we can obtain comfort.

The Bible offers some pretty solid answers about comfort and supports the fact that we do need it. Because this is a pretty broad topic with a lot to explore, I am going to spend several weeks addressing what I've found. In this first section, below is a brief overview of why people need comfort. I can relate to several of these reasons. Can you?

We are in physical pain:

"When I think my bed will comfort me
 and my couch will ease my complaint, even then you frighten me with dreams
 and terrify me with visions, so that I prefer strangling and death,
 rather than this body of mine." ~Job 7:13-15

We need help:

"I cried out to God for help;
 I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
 at night I stretched out untiring hands,
 and I would not be comforted. I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
 I meditated, and my spirit grew faint." ~Psalm 77:1-3

"My eyes fail, looking for your promise;
I say, 'When will you comfort me?' " Psalm 119:82

We are oppressed:

"Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun:

I saw the tears of the oppressed—
and they have no comforter;
 power was on the side of their oppressors—
and they have no comforter." ~Ecclesiastes 4:1

We have deep heart wounds:

"What can I say for you?
 With what can I compare you,
 Daughter Jerusalem?
 To what can I liken you,
 that I may comfort you,
 Virgin Daughter Zion?
 Your wound is as deep as the sea.
 Who can heal you?" ~Lamentations 2:13

We mourn for our losses:

"Blessed are those who mourn,
 for they will be comforted." ~Matthew 5:4

Last, but not least… we cannot be comforted by this world:

"The idols speak deceitfully,
 diviners see visions that lie;
 they tell dreams that are false,
 they give comfort in vain.
 Therefore the people wander like sheep, 
oppressed for lack of a shepherd." ~ Zechariah 10:2 

How to Pray

I recently watched the movie "Gravity" and was overall underwhelmed with the film.  However, one thing that stuck with me was the scene in which Sandra Bullock's character is alone, cold, losing oxygen, and decides to give up hope.  She decides to die. In the few moments before she changes her mind and decides to live, she goes through a heart-wrenching monologue, not sure what to say, what to think, how to process her plight.  She mentions that she wants to pray, but says, "No one ever taught me how to pray."

Her statement got me thinking... When did I learn how to pray? Who taught me? How do I pray? For anyone who may be thinking that no one ever taught you how to pray, this blog is not necessarily intended to teach, but hopefully it will be helpful to you.

My prayer life began to form before I was a Christian, as is probably the case for many people, and it has changed and evolved over time. I remember as a kid praying to God, and it was very raw, lacking much direction, but sincere nonetheless.  The more I have read through God's word, the more I have gained some understanding of who God is, and the more my prayers have incorporated scripture. I read God's word back to Him, not in a "name it and claim it" kind of way, but with an intent to submit to His word and His will. Knowing God's word helps encourage my heart to conform to what God's desire is, rather than to ask him to conform to mine. I also use a model for prayer.

How I pray, simply, is how Jesus taught us to pray in Matthew 6:9-13. This is much more than just a model.  It is a springboard for pouring out my heart to God, for submitting to him, for needing him openly, and for trusting in his provision, protection, and peace. Is it "enough" to just pray exactly what Jesus taught us? Sure, it is what he expects. Also, it is our privilege to pray so much more. Let me explain. I'll go through each line of the prayer that Jesus lays out for us and expand on how I use it as a starting point. 

"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name"

This is a starting point for worship. Acknowledge that God is indeed in heaven, that He is holy, worthy of worship, and worthy of our highest affection.  Thank God for what He has done, what He has made, for His character. Acknowledge your own tendency to worship other things or people, and tell God that you know He is the only true source of joy. The psalms are a great source of praise to pray as you worship, for example Psalm 34:1, "I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips."

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven"

I usually split this into two sections. 

First, may His kingdom come on earth. I pray for God to bring His kingdom, to be present, to lead me to be active in His kingdom, to bring His kingdom in my body to heal me, to bring His kingdom into my relationships to strengthen them, to redeem His people, to teach us how to love, to show us how to serve. I pray for friends who are hurting or struggling. I pray that God will change hearts that are hard, open the eyes of loved ones who don't know Him, to bring His kingdom in my home, in my church, in my work, in my family. There is no limit to where God will invite Himself and to where you can invite Him to go. Again, this is not a mandate, it is an opportunity to talk to God, to invite Him, to direct your affections to see His kingdom around you.

Second, may His will be done on earth. This is an opportunity to submit our own will to His will and also to ask Him for what our hearts desire. Pray for His will in your decisions, in your relationships, and in your work. What are you anxious about? Tell him. Plead with Him. Ask Him to prepare you for His will. Ask him for whatever you want. He knows already, but you will be comforted in sharing it with Him. He will faithfully conform your will to His.

"Give us today our daily bread"

Pray for God to provide for your needs, both physically and spiritually, that he will feed you in both of these ways. Pray for his Word to affect your heart. Pray for what you will eat, thank Him for this provision. Pray that He will keep you healthy or make you healthy. If your needs are met every day with little question, it's easy to forget Who is meeting them. Acknowledge that He is the giver of all things. If your needs are not always met, you may feel hopeless or in despair. Pray that God will provide and that He will help you to trust Him, to wait for Him.

"Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors"

This is where I repent for my sin. I lay it all out there. He cares. He knows. He wants us to repent and to accept His gracious provision of forgiveness in Christ. He is interested in our holiness. In 1 Peter 1:15, Peter writes, "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do." We aren't holy! So just admit it to Him. Ask Him to show you your own heart. Be willing to see it, broken and in need of redemption, and accept the redemption that God offers. He also wants us to be free from begrudging the sins of others, of harboring anger or pain. I pray that God will teach me how to forgive. If I am struggling to forgive someone or something in particular, I pray for that person or situation. I pray that God will soften my heart, that he will soften their heart.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one"

Just as soon as we repent and are forgiven, we must acknowledge our wayward hearts again. We know that temptation is always before us. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8) Pray that god will protect you from temptation. Pray that He will protect you from the evil one, from yourself, from besetting sin, from "small" sins. This is an opportunity to prepare your mind and your heart for what the day may bring, or the night, to ask God to be with you and to protect you.

So, that seems like a lot, right? Some days, this is not a starting point for me. Some days, the exact words Jesus gives are all I pray.  Some days, I barely get past "your kingdom come" before I realize I am running out of the time I've allowed for prayer. The beautiful thing about this model from Jesus is that it's flexible, it's adaptable, it provides words to say when there are no words to be found, and it provides structure when the words are gushing out of us uncontrollably. I pray that you will find it an encouragement to your soul.

The Lady-like Test

[This is copied WORD FOR WORD, including font styles and punctuation, from the original list written by Lei-Lei Gray (now Leigh Gray McKibben) in 1997.  My personal favorites are 8, 18, and 34.  Enjoy.]

The Lady-like Test

1.  Must be born a lady.  (NO EXCEPTION)

2.  Must be heterosexual.  (NO EXCEPTION)

3.  Can't chew gum in public.

4.  No burping.

5.  No passing gas in public.

6.  Can't wear brown (black) belt with black (brown) shoes.

7.  Can't wear brown (black) shoes with black (brown) purse.

8.  No dating a man who owns his own bowling ball.

9.  No dating a man who owns his own pair of roller-skates.

10.  LADIES ARE NEVER HOT!

11.  Ladies never use the phrase "...turn me on..."

12.  Never wear scuffed heels.

13.  No dirty fingernails!

14.  Ladies don't sweat.

15.  Can't own a truck that you can't get into in a dress.

16.  Ladies don't blow their nose in public.

17.  Ladies always know when jewelry is too much! (i.e.. five rings on one hand).

18.  Ladies don't use their chest as a wallet.

19.  Ladies never let their roots show.

20.  Ladies don't wear white shoes, EVER!

21.  Ladies don't pick their nose.

22.  No straddling chairs.

23.  Ladies only bend at the knees, never at the waist.

24.  Shoes can't be darker than your hem line.

25.  Ladies don't use toothpicks in public.

26.  Ladies don't "pee"!

27.  Ladies don't swear.

28.  Ladies don't ask gentlemen out.

29.  Ladies never take another's man.

30.  Ladies always wear slips with dresses or skirts.

31.  Ladies never use the phrase "...fart on it..."

32.  Ladies don't bite their fingernails.

33.  No spitting!

34.  Ladies don't use premenstrual syndrome as an excuse to be unlady like.

35.  * LADIES GO TO MARDI GRAS *

Pre-washing

I have had this conversation with a lot of other people, so I know I’m not the only one that has a habit of washing my dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.  I suppose in some ways this is a remnant of my childhood, having washed dishes at my grandparents’ house where there was no dishwasher machine.  I also washed dishes at my own home growing up, probably because my mom trained me not to trust this “dishwasher” to really do the washing in full.  Having been trained as an engineer, I realize the flaw in this common logic, but I have allowed it to remain for many years.  Even today, I have a dishwasher in my home that is less than 2 years old.  This fine dishwasher must be of decent design, based on the hundreds of dollars I paid for it, yet I still place shiny, (not only rinsed, but scrubbed) dishes into it and then waste water and detergent by running the dishwasher anyway.  I did a little research and managed to find this article that actually clearly labels my habit as not only insulting to the design of the machine but also damaging to my dishes.  

NY Times: The Dish on Dishwashers

Apparently, if the dishes are too clean, with no food to attack on their surfaces, the dishes themselves can be “attacked” and damaged.  So, I am officially going to stop pre-cleaning my dishes before utilizing this perfectly good machine to do the work for me.

What I also realized this week is that my pre-cleansing mentality also affects something more serious in my life: my very soul.  As a believer in Christ, I have confessed that apart from his saving blood, I would be literally dead in my sin.  What that death feels like in this world is more easily discussed when we refer to it as simply failure and shame.  Ok, maybe those ideas aren’t that simple, but every human can understand and relate to the reality of our shame.  I don’t like to go before God or anyone else without doing a little “pre-cleaning”.  I know that only God can wash away my sin, but it’s seems easier for me to try to clean up my sin by myself, then go to God with a little less shame and a lot more pride.  I was convicted this week of that tendency, remembering the truth that there is absolutely no pre-cleaning required when approaching God.  He knows about the mess anyway.  If the dishwasher engineer is offended that we put shiny dishes in the dishwasher, how must God respond to our own souls as we come to him and report that we are thankful for his unending grace but don’t really need it, thanks anyway.  It’s ridiculous, right?  I know I’m not the first person to do this, because just as Adam and Eve were the first humans to sin, they were the first to attempt to hide it:

After Eve ate the fruit of the tree (and game some to Adam)... “The eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized that they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.  Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.”  ~Genesis 3:7-8

Later, after God confronted Adam and Eve, exposing their nakedness (which, by the way, did not shock him), “The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.” ~Genesis 3:21

It’s pretty amazing that what Adam and Eve tried to do to cover themselves, God replaced, knowing their need and demonstrating his love for them by providing a much better solution.

In the same way, we too can know that we don’t have to wash ourselves, pay for our own sin, offer sacrifices, make deals with God, etc.  

So when you go before God in private, and when you go to a physical church, don’t pre-wash.  It can lead to more damage than just letting the savior do his work.

Prosthetists and Crossfit

I have been intrigued by this new (to me) idea of crossfit as a workout plan.  I asked a friend recently to describe the concept to me, and he said it is a mixture of gymnastics, weightlifting, and something else (I forgot the third one).  A crossfit "box" or gym offers a daily workout called, fittingly, the workout of the day, or WOD.  The best I can understand, members of the gym then show up when they want to and do the WOD either alone or with a group.  Part of the experience is to develop a team and have a support system to both encourage and push you to reach your goals on a given day or over a period of time.

One thing I have realized since becoming a prosthetist is that I am exhausted and starving at the end of a workday.  So, if I am going to work out, I usually do so in the mornings before work.  As I was contemplating this idea of the WOD, I realized that I already have a WOD.

The daily WOD for a prosthetist goes something like this:

• Modify and smooth 3 plaster molds: aka, intense triceps workout
• Lift some combination of mixed (wet) plaster and/or solid plaster molds, 10 reps x2: biceps workout
• Run or walk back and forth between patient rooms and lab, 10x per day: cardio
• Squat down and duck under parallel bars, back and forth 20x per day: glutes, hamstrings
• Squat down as low as you can in order to best observe gait, 10x per day: glutes, hamstrings again
• Try to sit up straight in your chair while writing notes: abs (just kidding, there is no sitting during the day)
• Grind and smooth test sockets or other devices in machine room: shoulders, back
• Loosen/tighten bolts with t-handle wrenches, unlimited/day: wrist, forearm
• Cut pylon with pipe cutter, 1-2/week: wrist, forearm, biceps, abs (if you are me, it takes all these muscle groups to make it happen)
• Lunch is optional

And there you have it, the prosthetist's WOD.  We don't need no stinkin' crossfit.

The 5 Languages of the 4-way Stop

If you’ve every actually driven a car, even in a small town, chances are that you have come across the inevitable 4-way stop.  I happen to pass 3 4-way stops on my way to work each day (and on the way home, of course).  I propose that these seemingly simple intersections with clearly defined traffic laws are a great place to observe the full scope of our humanity.  It is actually baffling, is it not, that we so often cannot (or will not)recognize whose turn it is to go?  

The rules are not difficult.  I am just going on memory here, but my understanding is as follows:

All drivers are required to come to a full stop upon arriving at the intersection.

The driver that arrives (and therefore stops) first will also go first.

If you arrive at the same time, a car to the left will yield to a car on the right.

That’s it.

The difficulty usually begins when one or more drivers fail to follow rule #1, come to a full stop.  If you never actually stop, how do you know who arrived at the intersection first?  Well, that’s where my analysis starts coming into play.

Some of you may have heard of the Five Love Languages, a great book that introduces and describes a concept related to understanding and knowing yourself and others in relationships.  If you are interested in knowing more about that, I’m sure you can find the book or just google the basics online.  What I am proposing is that there are also five languages that dictate our behavior in relationship to other people, and these languages are best observed at a 4-way stop.  Whether the intersection is busy or not does not change the expression of these languages, though I have observed that things are often more confusing when an intersection is less busy, leaving more room for creatively deciding who arrived first.  

The five languages that I have observed at 4-way stops are: legalism, pride, fear, generosity, and indifference.  I’ll describe each one in detail.

Legalism

The driver who approaches a 4-way stop with a legalist mentality is obviously there to follow the rules.  This person always comes to a full stop, always pays attention to other drivers, makes good eye contact, and confidently (but respectfully) goes when it is his or her turn.  If all drivers were legalists... well, let’s be honest, that would never happen.  But it would be nice.

Pride

This driver is the most important person on the road at any given time, so naturally they are also the most important person at a 4-way stop, regardless of whether they arrived first or not.  The prideful driver is not concerned about any other cars, any rules, or anyone else’s feelings (presumably).  Stopping is optional and usually not necessary or observed.  The only minor concern about other cars is that getting in an accident is not desirable, so the prideful driver will yield to others in order to avoid impending collisions.  Otherwise, it’s full steam ahead, and all the other suckers can wait.

Fear

Timidity is the hallmark of this driver.  Approaching a 4-way stop may be the most daunting task of the day.  The rules are either poorly misunderstood or just not trusted, because this person has a tendency to yield to others even when it is rightfully their turn to go.  Fearful drivers sit anxiously at a complete stop, hands at ten and two, eyes darting around with trepidation.  Should I go?  Should I wait?  They might let their foot off the brake briefly, but if any other driver flinches, they slam on the brakes again.  Oh dear!  The legalist struggles with this person, not wanting to go out of turn.  The prideful driver simply agrees that, yes, they are more important, and thank you for the acknowledgement.  

Generosity

This driver is pleasant enough, and selfless to a fault.  They may be the first of four cars to arrive at a 4-way stop, but nevertheless, they will wave each of the other three cars to go before finally proceeding with cheerfulness.  The generous driver is not as stress-inducing for others as the fearful driver, but the fact remains that things are not going according to the rulebook as the waving or light-flashing persists.

Indifference  

This character is the most squirrelly and difficult to predict of all.  She may be the mom in a minivan with kids raging in the backseat, a teenager lost in a daydream, or the young professional involved in an intense phonecall on his bluetooth.  Worst of all, the texter.  Regardless of the source of distraction, the indifferent driver approaches a 4-way stop with no clue as to what is happening here.  By the time this driver starts to try to go, the other drivers have already decided that it is not worth waiting for the space cadet to figure out it’s his turn.  This leads to a lot of stop-start false moves and sometimes even a near collision, which leads to copious honking of horns.  I wonder how many horns are honked per car passing through a 4-way stop on a given day?

If you’ve ever driven through a 4-way stop, you may recognize one or more of these drivers.  You most certainly ARE one of them.  So, which one are you?

Les Miserables

I’m enjoying a quiet first day of 2013, sipping on hot coffee, and listening to the soothing fall of rain outside.  I could do this all day.  I probably will ;)

A few nights ago, I went to see the new Les Miserables movie.  I confess, that after having seen the 1998 film and the musical on broadway in 2000, my grasp of the details in the story remained lacking.  Seeing the new film unfortunately did not help much to put together the pieces for me.  I have a hard time following the storyline when none of the characters will stop singing for just a minute and say something coherent for my little mind to wrap around.  Don’t get me wrong, the singing was phenomenal for the most part, the drama powerful, the emotion palpable.  The overarching theme of redemption is almost impossible to miss, regardless of how many versions you have seen or whether this new version was/will be your first.  I finally took a little time this morning to research the plot and characters, so some of the gaps in my understanding are now less gaping.  I feel better about it all, actually.  

**If you have not seen the film and do not want to know basically how it ends, stop reading here**

What touched me most in this new film version of Les Miserables was the ending, the last song titled “Epilogue”.  I’ve never seen on the big screen such a powerful picture of heaven.  As the characters are singing together about death, redemption, and new life, the screen depicts a distinct visual transition from dirty, dingy streets of death to a cleaner, restored, brighter, and happier city.  In this restored city, all of the characters who died in the movie are alive again, and they are together, and they are hopeful.  The consistent themes throughout the story of loss, poverty, filth, despair, and grief are replaced with the opposite of these experiences, with the redeemed version of each character.  A small segment of the lyrics during this scene are as follows:

Fantine (as Valjean is dying): 

Come with me, where chains will never bind you

All your grief, at last, at last behind you

Lord in Heaven, look down on him in mercy

Chorus:

For the wretched of the earth

There is a flame that never dies

Even the darkest night will end

And the sun will rise

They will live again in freedom

In the garden of the Lord

...

The chain will be broken

And all men will have their reward

This lyrical and visual fire hydrant as the film ends is a very tangible depiction of what God promises us in Revelation 21:1-4:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them.  They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the order of things has passed away.”

It’s a beautiful truth to cling to in moments, days, and even years of pain.  When humans are faced with the true mortality of this world, we can’t help but hope for something better, and thank God that he has promised to fulfill that hope.