Fall... Winter

All of these pictures, with the exception of the last one, were taken on October 13, the last warm day here in which the temperature reached 70 degrees. I celebrated that day by going on a bike ride after work down a country road. Don't worry, I didn't take pictures while riding - I stopped to take them. I missed a lot of great views just because not every spot was great for stopping and pulling over, especially if cars were going by at the time. Anyway, here are some of those photos:

This was the ice formation on my neighbor's car Tuesday morning.

26.2!!

I had no doubt when my best friend Julie told me that she "might" want to run a marathon someday (after having completed a 1/2 marathon), that she would make it happen. While she hemmed and hawed about it for a few years, the desire was in her blood. She did finally make the decision to go for it, and in high style nonetheless. Julie does not just go out and "do" something half-heartedly. You might say, how could one run a marathon half-heartedly? Well, I don't know, but trust me this was not her approach. Even choosing the right race was important, and she managed to fall into the great fortune of securing her place as a runner in the 2008 Marine Corps Marathon. So she didn't just get to the finish line and get a T-shirt from a random volunteer - she had a medal placed around her neck by a U.S. Marine. Not bad. I would be remiss not to mention that Sam and Jenn also completed this amazing feat yesterday. And I must also add that my dad successfully ran a marathon in 2000, so he was my first hero to achieve this impressive feat. I happen to have a photo of Julie running her very first road race ever, the Cooper River Bridge Run. I don't remember what year it was, maybe 2004? You will notice in the photo she is running about two steps behind me, and now she is countless steps ahead. Congratulations Jules!

Faith

Just a little something to think about in relation to my previous post...

1 Peter 1:3-9
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade -- kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

This is one of my favorite passages in God's word, yet I honestly didn't see the connection of it with my questions about suffering until yesterday. I have read and re-read these few sentences over and over for many years. It has to be one of the most densely packed statements ever written. The words were written by Peter to all followers of Jesus at the time, who he referred to in verse 1 as "strangers in the world". And he is pleading with them to grasp the truth that our position as strangers in the world should not be reason for despair but for great and lasting hope. He is not discounting the fact that suffering and grief are real. He is acknowledging the difficulty of this life and in the same breath proclaiming the importance of faith. It's true, we can't see Jesus, and niether could these early believers. The bottom line is that our faith is what will last, not because we are earning something through our faith. Our faith is crucial because it the vehicle through which we receive the salvation of our souls.

Good God + Bad Suffering = ??

I’ve been going through kind of a pensive phase for the past few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always thinking about something, but a few things have consumed my thoughts more than normal. For some reason, being consumed with thought tends to make me less likely to write on this blog. So what I am trying to say is that usually what you are reading is just some random passing thought. And now, as a special treat, I will share some of what has been on my mind lately. I guess I usually choose not to write about such things because I feel like I am not a very good communicator. Oh well.

So I have been thinking a lot in the past few weeks/months about suffering. I don’t think I really know what it means to suffer, though I have had stretches of moments, hours, and even days of suffering in my life. I have several times suffered from physical ailments without the knowledge of whether they may end. This is the closest I have come to understanding real suffering. Intense periods of pain and even the impact of that pain on daily life are not nearly as horrible as the lack of control. It is the worst experience in this life to realize that - even with the help of our greatest minds and most trusted remedies - we are ultimately left in the control of a greater Being. Whether you believe in fate or providence or God or not, you cannot deny that this life is beyond calculation. I have thought a lot about this lately, the idea of suffering and more importantly the reality of suffering. This is no longer an abstract idea for me to discuss and occasionally feel, just for good measure. No, suffering is embodied in people that I see all around me. It is in the face of the mother whose child I am treating, a mother whose entire life was flipped upside-down and inside-out when her child was diagnosed with a disease that is incurable and will leave him dependent on her for the length of his life, for everything. Suffering is the face of a homeless man, hungry and dirty, yes, but also rejected, despised, and very alone in this world. Suffering is a man in intensive care, battered, bruised, and broken beyond what a human should be able to survive, and suffering is the family that watches him lay still and helpless. And then there are widows, lonely lifelong bachelors, those battling cancer or other relentless diseases, and those who feel they just can’t catch a break. Suffering is even going on in the lives of those closest to me, whether spoken or unspoken, someone I know and love is probably suffering right now - maybe physically, maybe emotionally. You may have been suffering just today. Are you lonely? Do you feel misunderstood? Do you feel hopeless? Have you lost something or someone that you just can’t live without? None of us can deny or live above the ultimate truth that we cannot control our lives or the lives of those around us. So what is to be said of the One who is in control? Can He be good? I have asked this question of God himself, wondering how He could stand by and let so many people suffer, whether for short or long periods of time. If He indeed created each of us with tender and loving care, which I believe to be true, then how can He allow us to suffer?

Now you may think that I am going to answer the question I have just posed. But the truth is I really don’t know the answer. Or more correctly, God hasn’t broadcast the answer to me. I really am struggling with the idea that God allows this world and so many in it to suffer. Don’t you wonder too? Well, even though I don’t know the answer, I do know a little bit about God, and I know God. I know that God loves us. God does not love only those who deserve it, but just the opposite. He loves us all, and we all equally do not deserve this love. I know that God delights in being kind to us, in extending His great mercy to a helpless mass of humanity. I know that God has compassion on those who suffer, which brings me back to the original question. Why does He allow it? I know that this world is corrupt, but that answer just doesn’t seem to cut it when suffering is real. I have thought, as I am sure most people have, some people just had it coming to them. You make bad decisions, you live on the edge, or over the edge, and someday you’re just going to end up alone, hurt, disillusioned, and helpless. But seriously, that is ridiculous. Obviously many people suffer who do not fit this description. And then there is the fact that God does not love us based on our performance. I’m sorry to say (again), all the good behavior is not why God loves, and any amount of bad behavior cannot possibly be why suffering occurs. Granted, suffering of one innocent person can be caused by bad behavior of another. So I think I have thought myself into a nice concentric circle. If you are still with me, I apologize.

Just to be clear, I have not given up on God because of these battles in my mind. I think sometimes despite our desire to explain and answer every “doubt”, the answer is that there is no answer. The truth is that I cannot see Jesus, so I must rest in the little faith I have been granted. Just like Thomas in John chapter 20, I want so badly to see and touch and hear the voice of the One who is in authority over our world. Jesus says in John 20:29, “blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed”. I’m trying.

Beautiful Saturday

Today is October 4. It is 33 degrees outside, and there is frost on the ground and cars. Just fyi.

A few tips from my Canadian co-worker on how to stay warm:

(1) Wear a wicking layer, an insulating layer, then a shell for wind resistance.

(2) Wear a tuque (this is the Canadian word for beanie hat). If your feet get cold, put on the hat.

(3) Pee before bed. Less mass in your body = less to keep warm. Ok, sure.

Despite the frigid morning, it is looking like it will be a beautiful day here, and of course with a home football game the town is buzzing already. I'm thinking about paying a visit to the RV tailgating area just up the street to check out their partying style. Maybe after it warms up a little.

As the first snow is seeming to get closer, I must admit I am excited about seeing everything covered in white, particularly all the Christmas trees. My roommate keeps trying to correct me and tell me they are evergreens (true), but they are Christmas trees to me, and they are all over the place. The one pictured below is on the University golf course just up the street. Wouldn't it look great with a little tinsel and some lights?