The Pond Transformed

November 1, Fall

November 18, Chilly Sunset

November 19, Frozen!

(yes, the whole pond)

Winter Tally

As my first Winter in Michigan has begun, a few new items have become necessities, mostly things I have never had any use for before.

Ski Gloves (for biking to work): $15

Snow boots: $30, used (score!)

Warm hat: $10

Ice scraper: $3.50


Fresh snow on Christmas trees: Priceless!

Capturing Moments

I was never really interested in photography as a kid, though I did think cameras were very cool. As an adult, I've grown to appreciate images captured on film, or digitally, and I enjoy trying to capture my own. I've realized, though, that my appreciation of photography is rooted in a much deeper desire. First of all, I think there are two different types of photographs (this is just my perception, not necessarily the reality for people who know and study it). There are images that are created to be aesthetically pleasing, for which the context of them is either irrelevant or somewhat secondary to the beauty of the angle or color or some other visually appealing quality . I'll call these the artistic photographs. The second type is an image that is taken in an attempt to capture the very context in which it is taken, an attempt to capture the time and place and energy and emotion that were present as the shutter opened and closed. These are the realistic photographs. Now, I don't want to get all caught up in artistic versus realistic, as obviously those two terms are not mutually exclusive, but let's just say for the sake of my random thoughts that those are the two types.

I tend to crave the ability to take realistic photographs, to capture what I see and what I feel with one little flip of a switch. The reality is that this is a fairly unattainable goal. I realize that when I take a photograph in a particular moment, from a particular viewpoint, even I myself do not truly sense the whole reality of that moment when I view the image later. So my desire to share that moment with someone else is somewhat dashed. I am still happy to share a beautiful image, but I am disappointed that the whole of the moment cannot be captured.

As I am writing this, I'm wondering if maybe God feels the same way about his written word. He wants so much for us to understand just a little bit of how much He loves us, of what love truly is, of what unconditional love actually feels like, of how tenderly He adores His creation. But the words are just words, or are they? Can they look us in the eye and convey the compassion that He holds for us? Can they wrap their arms around us and assure us that we are loved? I have to say, I think God speaks to us beyond the words on the page, but I guess I am getting a little lost from the photographs. I just thought of that and had to throw it in.

Anyway, I think the underlying desire I have in trying to capture reality in a photograph is the desire to share the moment with someone. Not just share the moment with someone in the sense that they are standing right there and seeing the same image. More than that. I think I have a desire for someone, just once, to experience my perception of the world exactly as I do. I think there is great value in the fact that we all have individual perceptions and experiences, that we can discuss them and celebrate them and appreciate the same things in different ways, or appreciate different things in the same ways. But I think sometimes I just wish that I could share my little moments of appreciating beauty with someone in such a way that explanation isn't necessary. Wouldn't that be amazing? I have sort of realized, though, that I fall short every time I try to create this shared experience. I don't plan to stop taking pictures, but I think I will try not to expect anything from them anymore other than a nice way to bring back memories. Maybe I will discover some sort of artistic talent that does allow me to share moments with other people, but I have realized that photography doesn't quite fulfill that desire.

The Rise and Fall of Fall

The daily question becomes: Are there more leaves in the trees or under the trees?

At this point I'm just glad we can still see leaves at all.

Home in Michigan

I realized earlier today as I was walking around my little neighborhood that I haven't taken any pictures to share. So I just went for a stroll and snapped a few pics so those of you who will not make it up here (which is most of you) can see where I live. The community is a mixture of apartments and condos. Sara (my roommate) and I live in a condo which is really nothing fancy but is more than adequate.




You can see it is two story - those top two windows are both from my bedroom. There's also a very roomy basement which has come in very handy for storage. The one car garage is great, but of course it only holds one car. We have decided to rotate garage use on a monthly basis, and my month ended yesterday. There are some covered parking areas a short walk up the street, so I will probably try to snag one of those spots when the snow and ice get bad. It's a great little neighborhood with plenty of grass for Kelsey to enjoy on our walks. Like my place in Atlanta, there are little baggies for doggie "stuff" and little trash cans designated for said stuff.


One of the cool things that I probably don't take time to enjoy enough is a little pond right across the street. There are ducks and geese that hang out there, which Kelsey loves to keep an eye on. The ducks sometimes walk or fly across the street towards our building and go to the back of my neighbor's place for birdseed (or whatever she puts out there). So every few days or so I will see a big group of ducks right at our back door hanging out. I took a few pics of the pond - pretty picturesque, isn't it? I think I should take a lounge chair down there on nice days and sit by the water to read or something. Maybe I will. You can see a few of the little ducks in the second photo.

Fall... Winter

All of these pictures, with the exception of the last one, were taken on October 13, the last warm day here in which the temperature reached 70 degrees. I celebrated that day by going on a bike ride after work down a country road. Don't worry, I didn't take pictures while riding - I stopped to take them. I missed a lot of great views just because not every spot was great for stopping and pulling over, especially if cars were going by at the time. Anyway, here are some of those photos:

This was the ice formation on my neighbor's car Tuesday morning.

26.2!!

I had no doubt when my best friend Julie told me that she "might" want to run a marathon someday (after having completed a 1/2 marathon), that she would make it happen. While she hemmed and hawed about it for a few years, the desire was in her blood. She did finally make the decision to go for it, and in high style nonetheless. Julie does not just go out and "do" something half-heartedly. You might say, how could one run a marathon half-heartedly? Well, I don't know, but trust me this was not her approach. Even choosing the right race was important, and she managed to fall into the great fortune of securing her place as a runner in the 2008 Marine Corps Marathon. So she didn't just get to the finish line and get a T-shirt from a random volunteer - she had a medal placed around her neck by a U.S. Marine. Not bad. I would be remiss not to mention that Sam and Jenn also completed this amazing feat yesterday. And I must also add that my dad successfully ran a marathon in 2000, so he was my first hero to achieve this impressive feat. I happen to have a photo of Julie running her very first road race ever, the Cooper River Bridge Run. I don't remember what year it was, maybe 2004? You will notice in the photo she is running about two steps behind me, and now she is countless steps ahead. Congratulations Jules!

Faith

Just a little something to think about in relation to my previous post...

1 Peter 1:3-9
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade -- kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

This is one of my favorite passages in God's word, yet I honestly didn't see the connection of it with my questions about suffering until yesterday. I have read and re-read these few sentences over and over for many years. It has to be one of the most densely packed statements ever written. The words were written by Peter to all followers of Jesus at the time, who he referred to in verse 1 as "strangers in the world". And he is pleading with them to grasp the truth that our position as strangers in the world should not be reason for despair but for great and lasting hope. He is not discounting the fact that suffering and grief are real. He is acknowledging the difficulty of this life and in the same breath proclaiming the importance of faith. It's true, we can't see Jesus, and niether could these early believers. The bottom line is that our faith is what will last, not because we are earning something through our faith. Our faith is crucial because it the vehicle through which we receive the salvation of our souls.

Good God + Bad Suffering = ??

I’ve been going through kind of a pensive phase for the past few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always thinking about something, but a few things have consumed my thoughts more than normal. For some reason, being consumed with thought tends to make me less likely to write on this blog. So what I am trying to say is that usually what you are reading is just some random passing thought. And now, as a special treat, I will share some of what has been on my mind lately. I guess I usually choose not to write about such things because I feel like I am not a very good communicator. Oh well.

So I have been thinking a lot in the past few weeks/months about suffering. I don’t think I really know what it means to suffer, though I have had stretches of moments, hours, and even days of suffering in my life. I have several times suffered from physical ailments without the knowledge of whether they may end. This is the closest I have come to understanding real suffering. Intense periods of pain and even the impact of that pain on daily life are not nearly as horrible as the lack of control. It is the worst experience in this life to realize that - even with the help of our greatest minds and most trusted remedies - we are ultimately left in the control of a greater Being. Whether you believe in fate or providence or God or not, you cannot deny that this life is beyond calculation. I have thought a lot about this lately, the idea of suffering and more importantly the reality of suffering. This is no longer an abstract idea for me to discuss and occasionally feel, just for good measure. No, suffering is embodied in people that I see all around me. It is in the face of the mother whose child I am treating, a mother whose entire life was flipped upside-down and inside-out when her child was diagnosed with a disease that is incurable and will leave him dependent on her for the length of his life, for everything. Suffering is the face of a homeless man, hungry and dirty, yes, but also rejected, despised, and very alone in this world. Suffering is a man in intensive care, battered, bruised, and broken beyond what a human should be able to survive, and suffering is the family that watches him lay still and helpless. And then there are widows, lonely lifelong bachelors, those battling cancer or other relentless diseases, and those who feel they just can’t catch a break. Suffering is even going on in the lives of those closest to me, whether spoken or unspoken, someone I know and love is probably suffering right now - maybe physically, maybe emotionally. You may have been suffering just today. Are you lonely? Do you feel misunderstood? Do you feel hopeless? Have you lost something or someone that you just can’t live without? None of us can deny or live above the ultimate truth that we cannot control our lives or the lives of those around us. So what is to be said of the One who is in control? Can He be good? I have asked this question of God himself, wondering how He could stand by and let so many people suffer, whether for short or long periods of time. If He indeed created each of us with tender and loving care, which I believe to be true, then how can He allow us to suffer?

Now you may think that I am going to answer the question I have just posed. But the truth is I really don’t know the answer. Or more correctly, God hasn’t broadcast the answer to me. I really am struggling with the idea that God allows this world and so many in it to suffer. Don’t you wonder too? Well, even though I don’t know the answer, I do know a little bit about God, and I know God. I know that God loves us. God does not love only those who deserve it, but just the opposite. He loves us all, and we all equally do not deserve this love. I know that God delights in being kind to us, in extending His great mercy to a helpless mass of humanity. I know that God has compassion on those who suffer, which brings me back to the original question. Why does He allow it? I know that this world is corrupt, but that answer just doesn’t seem to cut it when suffering is real. I have thought, as I am sure most people have, some people just had it coming to them. You make bad decisions, you live on the edge, or over the edge, and someday you’re just going to end up alone, hurt, disillusioned, and helpless. But seriously, that is ridiculous. Obviously many people suffer who do not fit this description. And then there is the fact that God does not love us based on our performance. I’m sorry to say (again), all the good behavior is not why God loves, and any amount of bad behavior cannot possibly be why suffering occurs. Granted, suffering of one innocent person can be caused by bad behavior of another. So I think I have thought myself into a nice concentric circle. If you are still with me, I apologize.

Just to be clear, I have not given up on God because of these battles in my mind. I think sometimes despite our desire to explain and answer every “doubt”, the answer is that there is no answer. The truth is that I cannot see Jesus, so I must rest in the little faith I have been granted. Just like Thomas in John chapter 20, I want so badly to see and touch and hear the voice of the One who is in authority over our world. Jesus says in John 20:29, “blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed”. I’m trying.

Beautiful Saturday

Today is October 4. It is 33 degrees outside, and there is frost on the ground and cars. Just fyi.

A few tips from my Canadian co-worker on how to stay warm:

(1) Wear a wicking layer, an insulating layer, then a shell for wind resistance.

(2) Wear a tuque (this is the Canadian word for beanie hat). If your feet get cold, put on the hat.

(3) Pee before bed. Less mass in your body = less to keep warm. Ok, sure.

Despite the frigid morning, it is looking like it will be a beautiful day here, and of course with a home football game the town is buzzing already. I'm thinking about paying a visit to the RV tailgating area just up the street to check out their partying style. Maybe after it warms up a little.

As the first snow is seeming to get closer, I must admit I am excited about seeing everything covered in white, particularly all the Christmas trees. My roommate keeps trying to correct me and tell me they are evergreens (true), but they are Christmas trees to me, and they are all over the place. The one pictured below is on the University golf course just up the street. Wouldn't it look great with a little tinsel and some lights?

September?!?

Seriously, where did September go? I can't believe it's almost October. I guess the fact that time is flying is a good indicator that life in Ann Arbor is treating me well. I'm almost finished with my first rotation with an orthotist at work. After this I will rotate one week with a certified orthotic fitter - fitting pre-made items like soft wrist and ankle braces, pre-made spinal braces, etc - and then one month with a pedorthist (all feet all the time). This first rotation has been almost 50% cranial remolding orthoses (lay term helmets) for babies with mis-shapen heads. The other 50% has been various knee orthoses, ankle foot orthoses, and some foot orthoses (shoe inserts). I've enjoyed interacting with patients and love seeing the babies, who will almost always smile when prompted, which is not true for all adults but most of them will as well. This weekend was my second one on call (the first was uneventful) and it started out before the weekend even began with a HALO install at the hospital Friday evening. Saturday we were called again and spent 4 hours in the hospital and another 2 hours today. Overall, it was certainly an educational weekend for me, but it was also beautiful outside while I was inside A LOT. My friend and co-worker Megan was the person I was on call with (so she was really in charge) and we had tickets for the Michigan-Wisconsin football game. We thankfully made it for the good part of the game but missed the pre-game and first quarter. The worst part about going to the hospital Saturday was directly related to my stupid parking mistake. Usually a trip to the hospital costs about $4 in parking. Knowing the meters are not monitored on Sundays, I decided to park at one (on Saturday!) and walk a little extra to the main hospital. So you can imagine my surprise when I walked up to my car and found not one but TWO parking tickets on the windshield. I really thought it was Sunday when I drove up, which doesn't make any sense, but I did. So now my attempt to save $4 has cost me 10 times that much. Won't make that mistake again!

Outside of work, the weather has been getting cooler each week, though still not cold, and football season has been fun. I took a few pics in the stadium yesterday. In the first picture, I circled where you can see some breezeways open to the outside. Those are at ground level, and the rest of the stadium is sunken in to the ground. So when we walked in, we were on Row 73, and our seats were on Row 18. This is great because there is not a fancy maze of roundabouts to hike up for getting around the stadium, but still, the stadium just looks a little short on the oustide. The second picture is a view from the oustide. So now that I have seen this "Big House", I must say that it is hard to believe the capacity is 107,000+ and that the reported crowd yesterday was 109,000+. A few ways they may have managed this capacity in such an average sized stadium: (1) the seats are no more than 18" apart (width), and (2) they make the visiting band sit on the ground by the field. I'm not even going to elaborate on how not loud the fans were, though things did pick up in the second half when the home team started playing. Overall, it was a good game, a beautiful day for football, and great seats.

View to the outside... row 73

From the street, hardly looks like a stadium!

The new box seats/press boxes.

Me and Megan, so happy to be outside instead of at the hospital!

The Wisconsin band - sitting practically on the field!

Oh, and lest I forget... The tailgating is not too shabby, though not as widespread as I had hoped. However, I must admit I have never seen so many cars parked on a golf course before. That's right, the University golf course is right across the street from the stadium and open on gamedays for parking and tailgating. I'm really surprised this is allowed, especially when there is so much available space outside of the golf course that is untapped on game days. See for yourself:

Now I've Heard it All

I was listening to a talk radio station in my car last night, which I rarely do, and the discussion was about Google. Specifically, they were discussing how dependent so many of us are becoming on Google for personal and professional use. I am guilty. The crazy part was that one guy said he actually gave up Google for Lent. The kicker: he only lasted one week.

I probably wouldn't last one day.

Weekend Update

1 nagging sore throat =
24 hours of sleep in 2 nights
2 cups of hot tea
3 movies (Charlie Bartlett, Avalon, About Schmidt)
4 hours of reading
2 trips to the outside world
1 near fainting in public

Overall not the worst weekend but definitely not in the top 5 best weekends either.

This afternoon was redemptive as I sat outside and enjoyed the warm sunshine with a slight breeze. I've realized that when people say "the summers are nice in Michigan," they're not simply stating the obvious - that the summers are better than the winters. The summers here really are wonderful in their own right.

This Morning

After my alarm clock went off this morning, I didn't even hit snooze... I changed the time to 30 minutes later because I knew snooze (9 minutes) wasn't going to be good enough. Then when the alarm went off again, I rolled over and hit snooze. THEN when it went off for the third time, I rolled over and saw this outside my window. So I got up.

Lake Erie

Last weekend, one of my co-workers invited a few of us out to his house for an afternoon/evening cookout. He happens to live right on a channel connected to Lake Erie, so it was like going on a little vacation. I took Kelsey with me, and she had a great time with 2 other dogs, lots of new people, and her first boat ride. While we were in the boat, we entered Canadian waters for a little while. The weather was perfect in that it wasn't really hot out but the breeze while we were cruising in the boat wasn't too cool either.

Kelsey, trying to decide if she likes boats.

Yes, she decides, this is not so bad.

Living large.

The dinner was deliciously grilled salmon, trout, and fresh vegetables. We stayed until the bugs started biting after sundown, but we were there long enough to see a bright orange full moon rise up across the channel from us.

Big Boy

When I came to Ann Arbor for the first time (late May of this year) I was introduced by my friend Leigh to a free Saturday morning workout. Somehow she convinced me, while I was on vacation, to wake up at 6am on Saturday and join her for this "circuits workout" which she claimed to be wonderful. I managed to wake up and did go to the workout, and I really did enjoy it. It was well-organized by a physical therapist at a nice PT gym, several of my future co-workers were there, and after we got going it felt great. So as soon as I moved here, I decided to very quickly make the Saturday morning circuits workout a habit. Now, let's take a quick step back. My Saturday morning ritual in Atlanta was to go to Waffle House at around 8am and enjoy a nice breakfast of eggs and hashbrowns (scattered, chunked, double covered). Problem #1: there are no Waffle Houses within 30 miles of Ann Arbor. I realize that working out is probably better ritural than coffee and a greasy breakfast on Saturday morning, so I'm trying to enjoy the change along with the burst of adrenaline to replace the caffeine. However, as an added incentive for attending these workouts, I decided to treat myself to a local indulgence. For every 4 weeks in a row that I make it to the workout, I get to go to breakfast at Big Boy, a chain restaurant here that kind of reminds me of Shoney's or Denny's. I wasn't really sure if this would be a gerat treat or not, as I had never been to a Big Boy, so I was excited yesterday (after week 4!) to try it out. My friend Meghan agreed to join me after circuits, and we enjoyed a nice, long, lazy breakfast and I don't even know how many cups of coffee. I ordered the Big Boy Breakfast which was your typical 2 eggs, biscuits, hashbrowns, choice of meat. The coffee was tasty and always re-filled before it was half empty, and the eggs were cooked perfectly. The hashbrowns were good but a little dry without the special Waffle House grease and with no cheese on top. Overall, however, I give Big Boy a big thumbs up. And to make the whole experience even better, I was able to pose for a picture with Big Boy himself out in front of the restaurant. Four more weeks and I'll definitely be back!

First Injury

So today I managed to injure myself at work for the first time, on day 8 of this residency. Hopefully it will be the last time, and I have to say I was lucky it wasn't worse. I was cutting a piece of aluminum upright (basically a long thin bar of aluminum) on the bandsaw. I cut less than an inch of the aluminum off and afterwards (after turning off the bandsaw) very stupidly grabbed the small piece to break it off fully from the rest of the AFO that it was attached to. Well, the metal was so hot from the bandsaw that it burned my thumb and index finger right where I grabbed it. Made me say a dirty word. The good news even though I feel like an idiot is that the pain is much less now (a few hours later) and I didn't slice my finger off on the bandsaw, which is always my number one fear with that machine. In addition to starting my period today and having gotten braces two days ago, let's just say my pain level was pretty intense by the end of the day. Ok, sorry for the whining. I'm done.

First Week of Residency

My 5 favorite things about work so far:

1. The lab is really organized. REALLY organized.
2. My commute is a 5-minute drive or 15-minute bike ride.
3. It's easy to stay busy but not be overwhelmed - so far.
4. Free coffee.
5. Our office manager has 7 pieces of flair.

Thirsty?

This evening I somehow managed to pour the perfect ice cold beer into the perfectly prepared frosty glass mug. Couldn't do it again if I tried.

First Day!

Ok, so actually today was officially the second day of my residency. Yesterday we had hospital system orientation, so today was the first day at our clinic. More administrative stuff and orienting took place today, but it felt good to be in the clinic. Tomorrow we start with our one month rotation in the lab, learning the ropes of fabrication.

Sara, Ed, Me

Sunflowers!

Today I experienced the Michigan countryside for the first time, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Most notably, as my roommate and I were driving south towards a small town called Tecumseh (for a used book sale at the library), we suddenly found ourselves in the midst of a sea of sunflowers. We just had to pull over and admire the beauty, as were many other passers-by on the country road. If you check out the photos below, you can see that this glorious army of thousands is perfectly aligned with all faces pointing in the same direction, towards the sun. On the opposite side of the road, all faces were pointed away from us. Wow. The sunflowers were all about six feet tall. The flowers themselves had very thick, heavy centers with delicate, silky petals that blew softly in the wind. It just so happened that it was also a gorgeous day outside with perfectly blue sky, white fluffy clouds, blazing sun, and a light, cool breeze.

I must to credit my friend Missy for showing me the value of taking pictures from the ground and looking up towards the sky. I can only credit God himself for how beautiful these flowers are.

Non-Southern Hospitality

I went to pick up a friend this morning here in Ann Arbor. She lives in an apartment that is part of a big house, so there is a parking lot next to the house. I saw one space left and was a little taken aback as I drove towards the open spot and saw this:

Because I had already thought of parking there, I looked around to see if I would be punished for my iniquity. Noone was to be seen. I slowly backed away and vowed to never again look in the direction of that space.

Michigan: Week 1

Alas, after two and a half months of living out of my car and staying on the go, I am officially staying put here in Ann Arbor, Michigan. My parents very graciously accompanied me on the 700 mile drive from Atlanta with a 16 foot truck, my car in tow, and their car following. Here is the view from my parents' car on the road:

As you can see, it was quite a load. We arrived in Ann Arbor last Tuesday and immediately unloaded the truck, as I was anxious to find my bed and assemble it in time to sleep in it that night. Mission was accomplished, and it was SO NICE to finally be back in my bed, though I must say I was not without comfortable accommodations all summer, thanks to many wonderful friends and family members.

The first few days here were spent unpacking, getting settled, and checking out the town of Ann Arbor. My parents have some good friends who spend their summers here and were nice enough to show us the ropes and a good time as I was getting settled. My dad's birthday was Thursday, and we had a very nice dinnner with the Coopers that night at The Real Seafood Co. in downtown Ann Arbor. They had the best cole slaw I've ever tasted (and I thought that was a Southern thing) and I tried swordfish for the first time, which was delicious.

What I noticed most about downtown Ann Arbor as we walked around after dinner was that it was really BUSY! After living in and visiting other smallish towns with absolutely dead downtown areas, it was uplifting to walk around and see tons of restaurants with oustide seating that was full and bustling. The weather was perfect, warm but with a cool breeze (not too cool, though, as even I didn't need a sweater). I tried to take a picture to capture the bustling downtown atmosphere, but I recommend visiting to get the full effect.

My parents left on Friday, and I spent a lot of time over the weekend with a friend of mine from Georgia Tech, Leigh, who has been here for a year. I am taking over Leigh's position as orthotic resident at the UofM, so she is sadly moving this week. We went with a few other people on Saturday to the Extremity Games at Pontiac Lake State Park, which was about a 45 min drive from here. It was a gorgeous sunny day and we had a great time just hanging out by the lake and watching wakeboarding and kayaking events (this was an amputee extreme sports competition). As you can see, so far I like the weather in Michigan:

My new roommate, Sara, moved in yesterday, so we are still getting settled in the new place. Kelsey, my dog, is totally freaked out by all the moving and new people and has spent a lot of time under the bed.

I decided to go ahead and transfer my drivers' license and car tag to Michigan so I could register to vote and also have legitimate car insurance, etc. So my car looks a little different already than it did on the drive up here. But don't worry y'all, I'm not a Michigander yet :-)