If you’ve every actually driven a car, even in a small town, chances are that you have come across the inevitable 4-way stop. I happen to pass 3 4-way stops on my way to work each day (and on the way home, of course). I propose that these seemingly simple intersections with clearly defined traffic laws are a great place to observe the full scope of our humanity. It is actually baffling, is it not, that we so often cannot (or will not)recognize whose turn it is to go?
The rules are not difficult. I am just going on memory here, but my understanding is as follows:
All drivers are required to come to a full stop upon arriving at the intersection.
The driver that arrives (and therefore stops) first will also go first.
If you arrive at the same time, a car to the left will yield to a car on the right.
That’s it.
The difficulty usually begins when one or more drivers fail to follow rule #1, come to a full stop. If you never actually stop, how do you know who arrived at the intersection first? Well, that’s where my analysis starts coming into play.
Some of you may have heard of the Five Love Languages, a great book that introduces and describes a concept related to understanding and knowing yourself and others in relationships. If you are interested in knowing more about that, I’m sure you can find the book or just google the basics online. What I am proposing is that there are also five languages that dictate our behavior in relationship to other people, and these languages are best observed at a 4-way stop. Whether the intersection is busy or not does not change the expression of these languages, though I have observed that things are often more confusing when an intersection is less busy, leaving more room for creatively deciding who arrived first.
The five languages that I have observed at 4-way stops are: legalism, pride, fear, generosity, and indifference. I’ll describe each one in detail.
Legalism
The driver who approaches a 4-way stop with a legalist mentality is obviously there to follow the rules. This person always comes to a full stop, always pays attention to other drivers, makes good eye contact, and confidently (but respectfully) goes when it is his or her turn. If all drivers were legalists... well, let’s be honest, that would never happen. But it would be nice.
Pride
This driver is the most important person on the road at any given time, so naturally they are also the most important person at a 4-way stop, regardless of whether they arrived first or not. The prideful driver is not concerned about any other cars, any rules, or anyone else’s feelings (presumably). Stopping is optional and usually not necessary or observed. The only minor concern about other cars is that getting in an accident is not desirable, so the prideful driver will yield to others in order to avoid impending collisions. Otherwise, it’s full steam ahead, and all the other suckers can wait.
Fear
Timidity is the hallmark of this driver. Approaching a 4-way stop may be the most daunting task of the day. The rules are either poorly misunderstood or just not trusted, because this person has a tendency to yield to others even when it is rightfully their turn to go. Fearful drivers sit anxiously at a complete stop, hands at ten and two, eyes darting around with trepidation. Should I go? Should I wait? They might let their foot off the brake briefly, but if any other driver flinches, they slam on the brakes again. Oh dear! The legalist struggles with this person, not wanting to go out of turn. The prideful driver simply agrees that, yes, they are more important, and thank you for the acknowledgement.
Generosity
This driver is pleasant enough, and selfless to a fault. They may be the first of four cars to arrive at a 4-way stop, but nevertheless, they will wave each of the other three cars to go before finally proceeding with cheerfulness. The generous driver is not as stress-inducing for others as the fearful driver, but the fact remains that things are not going according to the rulebook as the waving or light-flashing persists.
Indifference
This character is the most squirrelly and difficult to predict of all. She may be the mom in a minivan with kids raging in the backseat, a teenager lost in a daydream, or the young professional involved in an intense phonecall on his bluetooth. Worst of all, the texter. Regardless of the source of distraction, the indifferent driver approaches a 4-way stop with no clue as to what is happening here. By the time this driver starts to try to go, the other drivers have already decided that it is not worth waiting for the space cadet to figure out it’s his turn. This leads to a lot of stop-start false moves and sometimes even a near collision, which leads to copious honking of horns. I wonder how many horns are honked per car passing through a 4-way stop on a given day?
If you’ve ever driven through a 4-way stop, you may recognize one or more of these drivers. You most certainly ARE one of them. So, which one are you?
No comments:
Post a Comment