Simple Thoughts

Warning: this is a long one, but I hope it will be meaningful for you all. Happy Thanksgiving!

This past Sunday, my pastor preached on Psalm 9. His main point was to illustrate the reality of God’s presence in the midst of our real life issues and struggles. Specifically, in this psalm, David is crying out for relief from oppression. Verse 9 says, “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble,” and verse 10 goes on to say, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” So the real question here is: Do I trust God in the midst of real oppression in my life? Oppression can come in many forms, but it clearly says in the psalm that God is our refuge in the midst of it and that he WILL NOT forsake those who seek him. The pastor was quick to point out that God does not promise to save us from death, he does not promise to heal our diseases, he does not promise that we will not suffer, and so on. So what does it mean that he is our refuge? It means that he will give us eternal hope and eternal life and that the things of this world will not ultimately overcome us. Later in Psalm 9, starting in verse 13, David begins to thank God for what he will do in the future, indicating that he trusts him based on what has happened in the past and on what has been promised. This Thanksgiving, there will be a service at our church where people have been invited to share stories of being freed from oppression and how that looked in their lives. I will be sleeping that day, because I am working nightshift this week, so I will share my story here instead.

This summer, I was brought to a very low point in my spirit. I’ll try to summarize briefly the circumstances. I had been suffering from neck problems since August 2004, and the pain was particularly bad in June of this year. I was scheduled to go on a mission trip July 1-11 in the Dominican Republic, and prior to the trip I saw a neurosurgeon about my neck. He explained that I had a small rupture in a cervical disc and some degeneration in the discs above and below. He did not recommend surgery, but I insisted that the pain was not worth working through anymore. So after some discussion, the surgeon agreed to perform surgery to remove the disc and fuse two of my vertebrae together. This was scheduled for July 13, two days after my return to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic. Without going into detail, the trip was all around very good, but I spent a great deal of time in intense pain. I got through it with some strong alcohol on a few occasions and the knowledge that surgery was on the horizon. Upon returning from the trip, I had two obstacles: (1) I was sick with some kind of sinus infection, and (2) my surgery had been cancelled for unclear reasons. So basically my oppression consisted of a mixed array of emotions in response to all this uncertainty. I was being faced with a decision now of whether to go through with surgery with my surgeon who had flaked or get a second opinion. I didn’t know whether my mom, who had come to town for my surgery, should stick around or fly back home. I was in more pain every day, and none of my medications were helping, and I was going to work because of the delayed surgery. I had a lot of people at work waiting on the surgery decision because of needing someone to cover my shifts if I missed work. I just wanted it all to go away. I was at home one night, feeling pretty sorry for myself, when I turned (randomly, and yet not so randomly) to Psalm 25. It starts out in verses 1 and 2, “To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.” This was exactly the cry of my heart! I kept reading… verse 4 said, “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths,” and verse 7, “Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways.” Wait a minute, this wasn’t what I was expecting at all. All of a sudden, I’m the culprit. But what about the flaky surgeon, what about the pain, what about my plans and how they weren’t working out?? Well, I read it over and over, and it finally hit me, that God is most concerned with my heart. And my heart was not in the right place. It was looking for someone to blame, and it was turning to surgery and pain medication for relief (unsuccessfully, I might add). Verses 16-18 go on to say, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.” Why doesn’t David say, “Look at my distress, take away my distress?” For the same reason I shouldn’t say, “Look at my pain, take away my pain.” It’s not that God didn’t care about David’s distress, and it’s not that he doesn’t care about my pain, but we should first trust God with our hearts and then with our problems. It is through our redemption, which is offered freely, that we can experience freedom from our pain, even in the midst of it. In 1 Peter 1, Peter says in verses 3 and 6-7, “In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope … In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These come so that your faith … may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” Have I been freed from oppression? For this situation, yes, I have. Have I been freed from the pain? It’s getting better, and I did not end up having the surgery. I can actually look back now and be thankful for the circumstances that seemed so unfair at the time. The point is that there will almost always be something that is oppressing me and you. It is just a matter of what it is and whether we will recognize it. But the answer is always the same, and David said it in Psalm 9:10, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” He didn't forsake me, and he won't forsake you. Now that's something to be thankful for.