Dictionary.com Word of the Day
lassitude \LASS-uh-tood; LASS-uh-tyood\, noun:Lack of vitality or energy; weariness; listlessness.
How did they know? I am supposed to be studying all day today, and I woke up this morning with extreme lassitude. I find it tough to fight lack of energy, especially when it's combined with lack of motivation and a warm bed. Somehow I eventually coaxed myself out of bed and into the shower. The lassitude is waning now that the day is half over, but I found the coincidence a little humorous.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Worship
This is as good as it gets if you ask me. I first heard this hymn about a year and a half ago and was instantly drawn to it. It's a great prayer and exhibits a desire for simple faith. Thought of it today for some reason, so this is what's on my mind. Words are by John Berridge.
Jesus Cast a Look on Me
Jesus cast a look on me
Give me sweet simplicity
Make me poor and keep me low
Seeking only thee to know
All that feeds my busy pride
Cast it evermore aside
Bid my will to thine submit
Lay me humbly at thy feet
Make me like a little child
Of my strength and wisdom spoiled
Seeing only in thy light
Walking only in thy might
Leaning on thy loving breast
Where a weary soul can rest
Feeling well the peace of God
Flowing from his precious blood
In this posture let me live
And hosannas daily give
In this temper let me die
And hosannas ever cry!
Jesus Cast a Look on Me
Jesus cast a look on me
Give me sweet simplicity
Make me poor and keep me low
Seeking only thee to know
All that feeds my busy pride
Cast it evermore aside
Bid my will to thine submit
Lay me humbly at thy feet
Make me like a little child
Of my strength and wisdom spoiled
Seeing only in thy light
Walking only in thy might
Leaning on thy loving breast
Where a weary soul can rest
Feeling well the peace of God
Flowing from his precious blood
In this posture let me live
And hosannas daily give
In this temper let me die
And hosannas ever cry!
Friday, November 25, 2005
*Sigh*
Just one more reason why I can't wait to leave this job...
Tonight, I actually had to listen to one of my technicians COMPLAIN about the free meal that was provided at work for Thanksgiving. He wasn't complaining about working the holiday, it's just that the free meal wasn't good enough for him. It consisited (surprise) of turkey, dressing, green beans, etc. He wanted steak. The food was 2 hours later than planned because the caterer got a flat tire, but his wife (on Thanksgiving) drove another car to pick up him and the food and deliver it out here. We are an hour outside of town. I was very grateful that they even bothered to deliver the food, especially after the flat tire.
I can't say that I'm the most uplifting, wonderfully positive person at work, but I've just about had enough of this guy who constantly seeks out opportunitites to whine and moan. I could ramble on about all the other things this guy complains about, but then I would just be making you miserable with the rest of us who have to hear it first hand. My advice to him: If you don't like the free food, then DON'T EAT IT. He ate a full plate.
Tonight, I actually had to listen to one of my technicians COMPLAIN about the free meal that was provided at work for Thanksgiving. He wasn't complaining about working the holiday, it's just that the free meal wasn't good enough for him. It consisited (surprise) of turkey, dressing, green beans, etc. He wanted steak. The food was 2 hours later than planned because the caterer got a flat tire, but his wife (on Thanksgiving) drove another car to pick up him and the food and deliver it out here. We are an hour outside of town. I was very grateful that they even bothered to deliver the food, especially after the flat tire.
I can't say that I'm the most uplifting, wonderfully positive person at work, but I've just about had enough of this guy who constantly seeks out opportunitites to whine and moan. I could ramble on about all the other things this guy complains about, but then I would just be making you miserable with the rest of us who have to hear it first hand. My advice to him: If you don't like the free food, then DON'T EAT IT. He ate a full plate.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Simple Thoughts
Warning: this is a long one, but I hope it will be meaningful for you all. Happy Thanksgiving!
This past Sunday, my pastor preached on Psalm 9. His main point was to illustrate the reality of God’s presence in the midst of our real life issues and struggles. Specifically, in this psalm, David is crying out for relief from oppression. Verse 9 says, “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble,” and verse 10 goes on to say, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” So the real question here is: Do I trust God in the midst of real oppression in my life? Oppression can come in many forms, but it clearly says in the psalm that God is our refuge in the midst of it and that he WILL NOT forsake those who seek him. The pastor was quick to point out that God does not promise to save us from death, he does not promise to heal our diseases, he does not promise that we will not suffer, and so on. So what does it mean that he is our refuge? It means that he will give us eternal hope and eternal life and that the things of this world will not ultimately overcome us. Later in Psalm 9, starting in verse 13, David begins to thank God for what he will do in the future, indicating that he trusts him based on what has happened in the past and on what has been promised. This Thanksgiving, there will be a service at our church where people have been invited to share stories of being freed from oppression and how that looked in their lives. I will be sleeping that day, because I am working nightshift this week, so I will share my story here instead.
This summer, I was brought to a very low point in my spirit. I’ll try to summarize briefly the circumstances. I had been suffering from neck problems since August 2004, and the pain was particularly bad in June of this year. I was scheduled to go on a mission trip July 1-11 in the Dominican Republic, and prior to the trip I saw a neurosurgeon about my neck. He explained that I had a small rupture in a cervical disc and some degeneration in the discs above and below. He did not recommend surgery, but I insisted that the pain was not worth working through anymore. So after some discussion, the surgeon agreed to perform surgery to remove the disc and fuse two of my vertebrae together. This was scheduled for July 13, two days after my return to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic. Without going into detail, the trip was all around very good, but I spent a great deal of time in intense pain. I got through it with some strong alcohol on a few occasions and the knowledge that surgery was on the horizon. Upon returning from the trip, I had two obstacles: (1) I was sick with some kind of sinus infection, and (2) my surgery had been cancelled for unclear reasons. So basically my oppression consisted of a mixed array of emotions in response to all this uncertainty. I was being faced with a decision now of whether to go through with surgery with my surgeon who had flaked or get a second opinion. I didn’t know whether my mom, who had come to town for my surgery, should stick around or fly back home. I was in more pain every day, and none of my medications were helping, and I was going to work because of the delayed surgery. I had a lot of people at work waiting on the surgery decision because of needing someone to cover my shifts if I missed work. I just wanted it all to go away. I was at home one night, feeling pretty sorry for myself, when I turned (randomly, and yet not so randomly) to Psalm 25. It starts out in verses 1 and 2, “To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.” This was exactly the cry of my heart! I kept reading… verse 4 said, “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths,” and verse 7, “Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways.” Wait a minute, this wasn’t what I was expecting at all. All of a sudden, I’m the culprit. But what about the flaky surgeon, what about the pain, what about my plans and how they weren’t working out?? Well, I read it over and over, and it finally hit me, that God is most concerned with my heart. And my heart was not in the right place. It was looking for someone to blame, and it was turning to surgery and pain medication for relief (unsuccessfully, I might add). Verses 16-18 go on to say, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.” Why doesn’t David say, “Look at my distress, take away my distress?” For the same reason I shouldn’t say, “Look at my pain, take away my pain.” It’s not that God didn’t care about David’s distress, and it’s not that he doesn’t care about my pain, but we should first trust God with our hearts and then with our problems. It is through our redemption, which is offered freely, that we can experience freedom from our pain, even in the midst of it. In 1 Peter 1, Peter says in verses 3 and 6-7, “In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope … In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These come so that your faith … may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” Have I been freed from oppression? For this situation, yes, I have. Have I been freed from the pain? It’s getting better, and I did not end up having the surgery. I can actually look back now and be thankful for the circumstances that seemed so unfair at the time. The point is that there will almost always be something that is oppressing me and you. It is just a matter of what it is and whether we will recognize it. But the answer is always the same, and David said it in Psalm 9:10, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” He didn't forsake me, and he won't forsake you. Now that's something to be thankful for.
This past Sunday, my pastor preached on Psalm 9. His main point was to illustrate the reality of God’s presence in the midst of our real life issues and struggles. Specifically, in this psalm, David is crying out for relief from oppression. Verse 9 says, “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble,” and verse 10 goes on to say, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” So the real question here is: Do I trust God in the midst of real oppression in my life? Oppression can come in many forms, but it clearly says in the psalm that God is our refuge in the midst of it and that he WILL NOT forsake those who seek him. The pastor was quick to point out that God does not promise to save us from death, he does not promise to heal our diseases, he does not promise that we will not suffer, and so on. So what does it mean that he is our refuge? It means that he will give us eternal hope and eternal life and that the things of this world will not ultimately overcome us. Later in Psalm 9, starting in verse 13, David begins to thank God for what he will do in the future, indicating that he trusts him based on what has happened in the past and on what has been promised. This Thanksgiving, there will be a service at our church where people have been invited to share stories of being freed from oppression and how that looked in their lives. I will be sleeping that day, because I am working nightshift this week, so I will share my story here instead.
This summer, I was brought to a very low point in my spirit. I’ll try to summarize briefly the circumstances. I had been suffering from neck problems since August 2004, and the pain was particularly bad in June of this year. I was scheduled to go on a mission trip July 1-11 in the Dominican Republic, and prior to the trip I saw a neurosurgeon about my neck. He explained that I had a small rupture in a cervical disc and some degeneration in the discs above and below. He did not recommend surgery, but I insisted that the pain was not worth working through anymore. So after some discussion, the surgeon agreed to perform surgery to remove the disc and fuse two of my vertebrae together. This was scheduled for July 13, two days after my return to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic. Without going into detail, the trip was all around very good, but I spent a great deal of time in intense pain. I got through it with some strong alcohol on a few occasions and the knowledge that surgery was on the horizon. Upon returning from the trip, I had two obstacles: (1) I was sick with some kind of sinus infection, and (2) my surgery had been cancelled for unclear reasons. So basically my oppression consisted of a mixed array of emotions in response to all this uncertainty. I was being faced with a decision now of whether to go through with surgery with my surgeon who had flaked or get a second opinion. I didn’t know whether my mom, who had come to town for my surgery, should stick around or fly back home. I was in more pain every day, and none of my medications were helping, and I was going to work because of the delayed surgery. I had a lot of people at work waiting on the surgery decision because of needing someone to cover my shifts if I missed work. I just wanted it all to go away. I was at home one night, feeling pretty sorry for myself, when I turned (randomly, and yet not so randomly) to Psalm 25. It starts out in verses 1 and 2, “To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.” This was exactly the cry of my heart! I kept reading… verse 4 said, “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths,” and verse 7, “Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways.” Wait a minute, this wasn’t what I was expecting at all. All of a sudden, I’m the culprit. But what about the flaky surgeon, what about the pain, what about my plans and how they weren’t working out?? Well, I read it over and over, and it finally hit me, that God is most concerned with my heart. And my heart was not in the right place. It was looking for someone to blame, and it was turning to surgery and pain medication for relief (unsuccessfully, I might add). Verses 16-18 go on to say, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.” Why doesn’t David say, “Look at my distress, take away my distress?” For the same reason I shouldn’t say, “Look at my pain, take away my pain.” It’s not that God didn’t care about David’s distress, and it’s not that he doesn’t care about my pain, but we should first trust God with our hearts and then with our problems. It is through our redemption, which is offered freely, that we can experience freedom from our pain, even in the midst of it. In 1 Peter 1, Peter says in verses 3 and 6-7, “In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope … In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These come so that your faith … may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” Have I been freed from oppression? For this situation, yes, I have. Have I been freed from the pain? It’s getting better, and I did not end up having the surgery. I can actually look back now and be thankful for the circumstances that seemed so unfair at the time. The point is that there will almost always be something that is oppressing me and you. It is just a matter of what it is and whether we will recognize it. But the answer is always the same, and David said it in Psalm 9:10, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” He didn't forsake me, and he won't forsake you. Now that's something to be thankful for.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Friday, November 18, 2005
Psychology Book Says...
And I quote: "A number of studies have shown that anxious, neurotic people report more stress than others..."
Hmm, I hope they didn't spend too much time and effort on that research. Next time they need to know something like that, I would suggest calling a reasonably logical individual for the answer.
Hmm, I hope they didn't spend too much time and effort on that research. Next time they need to know something like that, I would suggest calling a reasonably logical individual for the answer.
Photo of the Week
Carillon Beach, FL - September 2005Photo of the Week will officially be on Fridays now. Enjoy!
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Call Me Crazy, but...
You know the fact that there is no such thing as cold, that cold is the absense of heat? And the analogous fact that there is no evil, that evil is the absense of good? If you haven't heard that before, I hope it makes sense.
Anyway, I was just thinking, if both of those statements are true, then heat is most like GOOD and cold is most like EVIL. I'm sorry, I love the pretty leaves, I love fireplaces, I love a good warm blanket, but more than all of these... I LOVE SUMMER!
Anyway, I was just thinking, if both of those statements are true, then heat is most like GOOD and cold is most like EVIL. I'm sorry, I love the pretty leaves, I love fireplaces, I love a good warm blanket, but more than all of these... I LOVE SUMMER!
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Clues to Me
Well, I had hoped to go to sleep at 3am, but I have tossed and turned for 45 minutes to no avail thus far (thank-you nightshift).
Today I was reading in my psych book about the idea that you can tell a lot about someone's personality by their room, office, home, etc. So, just for funsies, here are 10 things you can tell about me if you look closely enough. Note: these are not all particularly significant, just interesting I think.
1. The subwoofer in my living room is almost as big as the TV. I find music to be essential to life and television an accessory to life.
2. Constant items in my refrigerator include: Coke and beer. For some reason I find it more important to keep drinks on hand than food. (We'll leave the liquor cabinet alone for now.)
3. The little medicine cup on my Pepto Bismol bottle has no pink residue. I do not wash the cup, nor do I use it. I drink straight from the bottle as needed.
4. Aside from the occasional flower or two, there are no living plants in my home, and most of the outside plants are dead. I do not do well with nourishing non-expressive organisms (they never remind me to water them!).
5. My bed is almost always made. Mom raised me well on that one.
6. Books on my bedside table include: Bible, occasional novel (currently The Heart is a Lonely Hunter), occasional National Geographic. I like to read about God, creativity, photography, and culture.
7. My yard is basically maintained just above the level of embarrassment, but no more. I do NOT have a yard boy, thus the yard suffers.
8. I have all the right sporting equipment to play tennis, soccer, or golf and to bike, run, or swim on any given day. I'm halfway between prepared and schizophrenic in the athletic arena.
9. I have a small can of red paint which was bought to paint my front door approximately two years ago. The door is still white. I don't know what this means. Am I intimidated by the door?
10. My camera, battery charger, and camera USB cable are kept readily available. I like to take pictures, and I like to see them right away, and so I do.
Today I was reading in my psych book about the idea that you can tell a lot about someone's personality by their room, office, home, etc. So, just for funsies, here are 10 things you can tell about me if you look closely enough. Note: these are not all particularly significant, just interesting I think.
1. The subwoofer in my living room is almost as big as the TV. I find music to be essential to life and television an accessory to life.
2. Constant items in my refrigerator include: Coke and beer. For some reason I find it more important to keep drinks on hand than food. (We'll leave the liquor cabinet alone for now.)
3. The little medicine cup on my Pepto Bismol bottle has no pink residue. I do not wash the cup, nor do I use it. I drink straight from the bottle as needed.
4. Aside from the occasional flower or two, there are no living plants in my home, and most of the outside plants are dead. I do not do well with nourishing non-expressive organisms (they never remind me to water them!).
5. My bed is almost always made. Mom raised me well on that one.
6. Books on my bedside table include: Bible, occasional novel (currently The Heart is a Lonely Hunter), occasional National Geographic. I like to read about God, creativity, photography, and culture.
7. My yard is basically maintained just above the level of embarrassment, but no more. I do NOT have a yard boy, thus the yard suffers.
8. I have all the right sporting equipment to play tennis, soccer, or golf and to bike, run, or swim on any given day. I'm halfway between prepared and schizophrenic in the athletic arena.
9. I have a small can of red paint which was bought to paint my front door approximately two years ago. The door is still white. I don't know what this means. Am I intimidated by the door?
10. My camera, battery charger, and camera USB cable are kept readily available. I like to take pictures, and I like to see them right away, and so I do.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Psychology Lesson
I have learned that Sigmund Freud can be described in two ways, not one or the other, but both:
1. brilliant
2. psycho
His psychoanalytic theory was well-named.
1. brilliant
2. psycho
His psychoanalytic theory was well-named.
Morning Treat
This morning on my way home from work, I saw this at Lake Olmstead. For those of you that live in Augusta, you know that this is not the most beautiful lake. I have noticed, though, that it is always beautiful and serene in the morning...as you can see here.
School Status
Well, the ducks are continuing to line up for now... I will be finishing up my first semester of Anatomy&Physiology in a few weeks, and I should also finish my on-line psychology class by mid-December. Today (yesterday) I registered for A&P II, which I will take this Spring at ASU, and that should complete the prerequisites I need for grad school (Prosthetics and Orthotics) at Georgia Tech. Per the department there, I should hear something in February.
For those who are not familiar, I applied for admission last year and was not accepted. This led to a very sloppy cry and much despair at the thought of remaining here (at the nuke plant) for another year. After all that, I visited the department at GT and very calmly discussed with them my desire to attend. They basically said to take the aforementioned classes and re-apply, and that I should not have any problem getting in. So that is what I did, and here I am at the nuke plant in the middle of the night, praying that I will get into school and out of here as fast as possible.
As usual, with hindsight, I can see the good providence of not getting in last year. For instance, I was not ready to sell my house, I didn't have enough money saved up for tuition/living, I was not mentally prepared to leave Augusta yet, I have very much needed my good medical insurance this year, and the list goes on. With that said, if I don't get in this year, despite being led to believe that I will, I have to trust that it will be a good thing. I'm not sure what I will do, but I will cross that bridge if and when I need to.
For those who are not familiar, I applied for admission last year and was not accepted. This led to a very sloppy cry and much despair at the thought of remaining here (at the nuke plant) for another year. After all that, I visited the department at GT and very calmly discussed with them my desire to attend. They basically said to take the aforementioned classes and re-apply, and that I should not have any problem getting in. So that is what I did, and here I am at the nuke plant in the middle of the night, praying that I will get into school and out of here as fast as possible.
As usual, with hindsight, I can see the good providence of not getting in last year. For instance, I was not ready to sell my house, I didn't have enough money saved up for tuition/living, I was not mentally prepared to leave Augusta yet, I have very much needed my good medical insurance this year, and the list goes on. With that said, if I don't get in this year, despite being led to believe that I will, I have to trust that it will be a good thing. I'm not sure what I will do, but I will cross that bridge if and when I need to.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Tree with House
I have been waiting in great anticipation for this day, the day when the tree in my front yard begins to turn red. Trust me, this is just the beginning. It will be absolutely beautiful for at least one day, two if I'm lucky, each year. In essence, I paid tens of thousands of dollars for a tree with a house on it's lot. The house is ok too. Anyway, I am hoping to have time tomorrow for cleaning up the yard and the roof so that when the glorious day comes, when the tree is at it's point of brightest red (just prior to shedding the leaves entirely), I will be ready to take a photo to use when I put the house up for sale in a few months.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
A Wise Man Once Said...
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
-Ferris Beuller, from Ferris Beuller's Day Off
-Ferris Beuller, from Ferris Beuller's Day Off
Saturday, November 12, 2005
2005 Auburn Football Recap
Wins or losses aside, this season has been a tough one due to my LACK of being able to see the beloved Tigers play. The season has gone like this:
Sept 3 vs. Ga Tech - WORKING Night Shift
Sept 10 vs. Miss St - Watched game at the beach (this was wonderful)
Sept 17 vs. Ball St - WORKING Day Shift
Sept 24 vs. West KY - WORKING Day Shift
Oct 1 vs. USC - WORKING Day Shift
Oct 15 vs. ARK - WORKING Day Shift (but I think I got to watch this at night)
Oct 22 vs. LSU - Watched sporadically while at a WEDDING
Oct 29 vs. Ole Miss - Watched at a friend's house
Nov 5 vs. UK - WORKING Day Shift
Nov 12 vs. UGA - WORKING Night Shift (that's tonight)
Nov 19 vs. ALA - Will NOT be working!
So that's 3.5 out of 11 games. A disgrace. Would anyone disagree that I should be leaving my job???
Sept 3 vs. Ga Tech - WORKING Night Shift
Sept 10 vs. Miss St - Watched game at the beach (this was wonderful)
Sept 17 vs. Ball St - WORKING Day Shift
Sept 24 vs. West KY - WORKING Day Shift
Oct 1 vs. USC - WORKING Day Shift
Oct 15 vs. ARK - WORKING Day Shift (but I think I got to watch this at night)
Oct 22 vs. LSU - Watched sporadically while at a WEDDING
Oct 29 vs. Ole Miss - Watched at a friend's house
Nov 5 vs. UK - WORKING Day Shift
Nov 12 vs. UGA - WORKING Night Shift (that's tonight)
Nov 19 vs. ALA - Will NOT be working!
So that's 3.5 out of 11 games. A disgrace. Would anyone disagree that I should be leaving my job???
Photo of the Week
NYC - April, 2005I'm no professional, by any stretch of the imagination, but I love photographs. So I'll try to start posting one a week just for fun. This way when I run out, I will be inspired to take more, maybe.
Friday, November 11, 2005
The Day After
So I had the injections yesterday in my neck. By all indications, namely the little holes in my skin, I apparently had 4 total injections. I was under the impression that every facet joint from C-4 to T-1 would be affected, but maybe it was just C-4 AND T-1 (2 joints each). Anyway, I'll ask the doctor when I go in for round 2. It's been 33 hours or so since the procedure, and I'm definitely still sore from the needles. As for the typical back pain, it's about what it was prior to the injections yesterday. According to the doctor, it will be 4-5 days before noticeable improvement, so I'm still hoping for the best.
The Pear
I guess a little explanation would not hurt for the "SeekingSimple" photo of a pear. It's kind of a long story, going back to a battle that I had with stomach problems for several years. I came to realize that the purer the food I ate (consistently) the better my stomach would respond. For instance, eating an apple would be much better than eating an apple Poptart or apple flavored whatever, full of preservatives. I'm a big fan of analogies, and this idea of pure food eventually struck me as a great correlate to our need for pure truth. I would have to admit I would be hard pressed to prove that I have spent nearly as much time reading the Bible itself as I have Christian books. While there is nothing wrong with Christian books, they are like the apple Poptart, a mere representation of the real source of nourishment. 1 Peter 2:2-3 says, "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good."
So the pear, like an apple, represents our need for truth from it's original source. I just happened to like that particular picture of a pear, which incidentally came from here:
http://www.kenygalleries.com/images/ac-tolstedt/t-pearprimarycolors.html.
So the pear, like an apple, represents our need for truth from it's original source. I just happened to like that particular picture of a pear, which incidentally came from here:
http://www.kenygalleries.com/images/ac-tolstedt/t-pearprimarycolors.html.
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