September?!?

Seriously, where did September go? I can't believe it's almost October. I guess the fact that time is flying is a good indicator that life in Ann Arbor is treating me well. I'm almost finished with my first rotation with an orthotist at work. After this I will rotate one week with a certified orthotic fitter - fitting pre-made items like soft wrist and ankle braces, pre-made spinal braces, etc - and then one month with a pedorthist (all feet all the time). This first rotation has been almost 50% cranial remolding orthoses (lay term helmets) for babies with mis-shapen heads. The other 50% has been various knee orthoses, ankle foot orthoses, and some foot orthoses (shoe inserts). I've enjoyed interacting with patients and love seeing the babies, who will almost always smile when prompted, which is not true for all adults but most of them will as well. This weekend was my second one on call (the first was uneventful) and it started out before the weekend even began with a HALO install at the hospital Friday evening. Saturday we were called again and spent 4 hours in the hospital and another 2 hours today. Overall, it was certainly an educational weekend for me, but it was also beautiful outside while I was inside A LOT. My friend and co-worker Megan was the person I was on call with (so she was really in charge) and we had tickets for the Michigan-Wisconsin football game. We thankfully made it for the good part of the game but missed the pre-game and first quarter. The worst part about going to the hospital Saturday was directly related to my stupid parking mistake. Usually a trip to the hospital costs about $4 in parking. Knowing the meters are not monitored on Sundays, I decided to park at one (on Saturday!) and walk a little extra to the main hospital. So you can imagine my surprise when I walked up to my car and found not one but TWO parking tickets on the windshield. I really thought it was Sunday when I drove up, which doesn't make any sense, but I did. So now my attempt to save $4 has cost me 10 times that much. Won't make that mistake again!

Outside of work, the weather has been getting cooler each week, though still not cold, and football season has been fun. I took a few pics in the stadium yesterday. In the first picture, I circled where you can see some breezeways open to the outside. Those are at ground level, and the rest of the stadium is sunken in to the ground. So when we walked in, we were on Row 73, and our seats were on Row 18. This is great because there is not a fancy maze of roundabouts to hike up for getting around the stadium, but still, the stadium just looks a little short on the oustide. The second picture is a view from the oustide. So now that I have seen this "Big House", I must say that it is hard to believe the capacity is 107,000+ and that the reported crowd yesterday was 109,000+. A few ways they may have managed this capacity in such an average sized stadium: (1) the seats are no more than 18" apart (width), and (2) they make the visiting band sit on the ground by the field. I'm not even going to elaborate on how not loud the fans were, though things did pick up in the second half when the home team started playing. Overall, it was a good game, a beautiful day for football, and great seats.

View to the outside... row 73

From the street, hardly looks like a stadium!

The new box seats/press boxes.

Me and Megan, so happy to be outside instead of at the hospital!

The Wisconsin band - sitting practically on the field!

Oh, and lest I forget... The tailgating is not too shabby, though not as widespread as I had hoped. However, I must admit I have never seen so many cars parked on a golf course before. That's right, the University golf course is right across the street from the stadium and open on gamedays for parking and tailgating. I'm really surprised this is allowed, especially when there is so much available space outside of the golf course that is untapped on game days. See for yourself:

Now I've Heard it All

I was listening to a talk radio station in my car last night, which I rarely do, and the discussion was about Google. Specifically, they were discussing how dependent so many of us are becoming on Google for personal and professional use. I am guilty. The crazy part was that one guy said he actually gave up Google for Lent. The kicker: he only lasted one week.

I probably wouldn't last one day.

Weekend Update

1 nagging sore throat =
24 hours of sleep in 2 nights
2 cups of hot tea
3 movies (Charlie Bartlett, Avalon, About Schmidt)
4 hours of reading
2 trips to the outside world
1 near fainting in public

Overall not the worst weekend but definitely not in the top 5 best weekends either.

This afternoon was redemptive as I sat outside and enjoyed the warm sunshine with a slight breeze. I've realized that when people say "the summers are nice in Michigan," they're not simply stating the obvious - that the summers are better than the winters. The summers here really are wonderful in their own right.

This Morning

After my alarm clock went off this morning, I didn't even hit snooze... I changed the time to 30 minutes later because I knew snooze (9 minutes) wasn't going to be good enough. Then when the alarm went off again, I rolled over and hit snooze. THEN when it went off for the third time, I rolled over and saw this outside my window. So I got up.

Lake Erie

Last weekend, one of my co-workers invited a few of us out to his house for an afternoon/evening cookout. He happens to live right on a channel connected to Lake Erie, so it was like going on a little vacation. I took Kelsey with me, and she had a great time with 2 other dogs, lots of new people, and her first boat ride. While we were in the boat, we entered Canadian waters for a little while. The weather was perfect in that it wasn't really hot out but the breeze while we were cruising in the boat wasn't too cool either.

Kelsey, trying to decide if she likes boats.

Yes, she decides, this is not so bad.

Living large.

The dinner was deliciously grilled salmon, trout, and fresh vegetables. We stayed until the bugs started biting after sundown, but we were there long enough to see a bright orange full moon rise up across the channel from us.

Big Boy

When I came to Ann Arbor for the first time (late May of this year) I was introduced by my friend Leigh to a free Saturday morning workout. Somehow she convinced me, while I was on vacation, to wake up at 6am on Saturday and join her for this "circuits workout" which she claimed to be wonderful. I managed to wake up and did go to the workout, and I really did enjoy it. It was well-organized by a physical therapist at a nice PT gym, several of my future co-workers were there, and after we got going it felt great. So as soon as I moved here, I decided to very quickly make the Saturday morning circuits workout a habit. Now, let's take a quick step back. My Saturday morning ritual in Atlanta was to go to Waffle House at around 8am and enjoy a nice breakfast of eggs and hashbrowns (scattered, chunked, double covered). Problem #1: there are no Waffle Houses within 30 miles of Ann Arbor. I realize that working out is probably better ritural than coffee and a greasy breakfast on Saturday morning, so I'm trying to enjoy the change along with the burst of adrenaline to replace the caffeine. However, as an added incentive for attending these workouts, I decided to treat myself to a local indulgence. For every 4 weeks in a row that I make it to the workout, I get to go to breakfast at Big Boy, a chain restaurant here that kind of reminds me of Shoney's or Denny's. I wasn't really sure if this would be a gerat treat or not, as I had never been to a Big Boy, so I was excited yesterday (after week 4!) to try it out. My friend Meghan agreed to join me after circuits, and we enjoyed a nice, long, lazy breakfast and I don't even know how many cups of coffee. I ordered the Big Boy Breakfast which was your typical 2 eggs, biscuits, hashbrowns, choice of meat. The coffee was tasty and always re-filled before it was half empty, and the eggs were cooked perfectly. The hashbrowns were good but a little dry without the special Waffle House grease and with no cheese on top. Overall, however, I give Big Boy a big thumbs up. And to make the whole experience even better, I was able to pose for a picture with Big Boy himself out in front of the restaurant. Four more weeks and I'll definitely be back!

First Injury

So today I managed to injure myself at work for the first time, on day 8 of this residency. Hopefully it will be the last time, and I have to say I was lucky it wasn't worse. I was cutting a piece of aluminum upright (basically a long thin bar of aluminum) on the bandsaw. I cut less than an inch of the aluminum off and afterwards (after turning off the bandsaw) very stupidly grabbed the small piece to break it off fully from the rest of the AFO that it was attached to. Well, the metal was so hot from the bandsaw that it burned my thumb and index finger right where I grabbed it. Made me say a dirty word. The good news even though I feel like an idiot is that the pain is much less now (a few hours later) and I didn't slice my finger off on the bandsaw, which is always my number one fear with that machine. In addition to starting my period today and having gotten braces two days ago, let's just say my pain level was pretty intense by the end of the day. Ok, sorry for the whining. I'm done.

First Week of Residency

My 5 favorite things about work so far:

1. The lab is really organized. REALLY organized.
2. My commute is a 5-minute drive or 15-minute bike ride.
3. It's easy to stay busy but not be overwhelmed - so far.
4. Free coffee.
5. Our office manager has 7 pieces of flair.

Thirsty?

This evening I somehow managed to pour the perfect ice cold beer into the perfectly prepared frosty glass mug. Couldn't do it again if I tried.

First Day!

Ok, so actually today was officially the second day of my residency. Yesterday we had hospital system orientation, so today was the first day at our clinic. More administrative stuff and orienting took place today, but it felt good to be in the clinic. Tomorrow we start with our one month rotation in the lab, learning the ropes of fabrication.

Sara, Ed, Me

Sunflowers!

Today I experienced the Michigan countryside for the first time, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Most notably, as my roommate and I were driving south towards a small town called Tecumseh (for a used book sale at the library), we suddenly found ourselves in the midst of a sea of sunflowers. We just had to pull over and admire the beauty, as were many other passers-by on the country road. If you check out the photos below, you can see that this glorious army of thousands is perfectly aligned with all faces pointing in the same direction, towards the sun. On the opposite side of the road, all faces were pointed away from us. Wow. The sunflowers were all about six feet tall. The flowers themselves had very thick, heavy centers with delicate, silky petals that blew softly in the wind. It just so happened that it was also a gorgeous day outside with perfectly blue sky, white fluffy clouds, blazing sun, and a light, cool breeze.

I must to credit my friend Missy for showing me the value of taking pictures from the ground and looking up towards the sky. I can only credit God himself for how beautiful these flowers are.

Non-Southern Hospitality

I went to pick up a friend this morning here in Ann Arbor. She lives in an apartment that is part of a big house, so there is a parking lot next to the house. I saw one space left and was a little taken aback as I drove towards the open spot and saw this:

Because I had already thought of parking there, I looked around to see if I would be punished for my iniquity. Noone was to be seen. I slowly backed away and vowed to never again look in the direction of that space.

Michigan: Week 1

Alas, after two and a half months of living out of my car and staying on the go, I am officially staying put here in Ann Arbor, Michigan. My parents very graciously accompanied me on the 700 mile drive from Atlanta with a 16 foot truck, my car in tow, and their car following. Here is the view from my parents' car on the road:

As you can see, it was quite a load. We arrived in Ann Arbor last Tuesday and immediately unloaded the truck, as I was anxious to find my bed and assemble it in time to sleep in it that night. Mission was accomplished, and it was SO NICE to finally be back in my bed, though I must say I was not without comfortable accommodations all summer, thanks to many wonderful friends and family members.

The first few days here were spent unpacking, getting settled, and checking out the town of Ann Arbor. My parents have some good friends who spend their summers here and were nice enough to show us the ropes and a good time as I was getting settled. My dad's birthday was Thursday, and we had a very nice dinnner with the Coopers that night at The Real Seafood Co. in downtown Ann Arbor. They had the best cole slaw I've ever tasted (and I thought that was a Southern thing) and I tried swordfish for the first time, which was delicious.

What I noticed most about downtown Ann Arbor as we walked around after dinner was that it was really BUSY! After living in and visiting other smallish towns with absolutely dead downtown areas, it was uplifting to walk around and see tons of restaurants with oustide seating that was full and bustling. The weather was perfect, warm but with a cool breeze (not too cool, though, as even I didn't need a sweater). I tried to take a picture to capture the bustling downtown atmosphere, but I recommend visiting to get the full effect.

My parents left on Friday, and I spent a lot of time over the weekend with a friend of mine from Georgia Tech, Leigh, who has been here for a year. I am taking over Leigh's position as orthotic resident at the UofM, so she is sadly moving this week. We went with a few other people on Saturday to the Extremity Games at Pontiac Lake State Park, which was about a 45 min drive from here. It was a gorgeous sunny day and we had a great time just hanging out by the lake and watching wakeboarding and kayaking events (this was an amputee extreme sports competition). As you can see, so far I like the weather in Michigan:

My new roommate, Sara, moved in yesterday, so we are still getting settled in the new place. Kelsey, my dog, is totally freaked out by all the moving and new people and has spent a lot of time under the bed.

I decided to go ahead and transfer my drivers' license and car tag to Michigan so I could register to vote and also have legitimate car insurance, etc. So my car looks a little different already than it did on the drive up here. But don't worry y'all, I'm not a Michigander yet :-)

Camp

Last week I had the pleasure for the second time of participating as a volunteer counselor at Adventure Amputee Camp. Knowing that I would return from camp just a week before moving to Michigan, I was a little worried about being worn out from the non-stop, 5-day, literal adventure. I found, however, that as the week drew to a close, I was actually rejuvenated. My body was tired from lack of sleep, and my mind was a bit weary from the stress of keeping up with three 10-year old girls, but my spirit was strangely filled with an excitement for life and a readiness to embrace a long-distance move and tough year of residency ahead of me. So how could I possibly feel this fulness after such a busy, sometimes harrowing, week of camp?

I left Atlanta early on Wednesday morning with the full expectation that I would struggle with the demands of camp. After two months off from school, work, or anything that resembles work, I have grown quite accustomed to keeping my own hours and I have had the luxury of placing my own needs on the forefront of every day. I haven't exactly been selfish, so to speak, but I have also not been required to be selfLESS very much. And that is exactly what camp requires. Even before leaving Atlanta, I found myself with two small girls holding onto me for dear life and begging me to ride in their van. I'm not usually a kid magnet, but they saw a familiar face and so I became a magnet and a haven of safety for them. As it turns out, these were two of my three campers for the week, which I found out when we arrived at the Nantahala Outdoor Center a few hours later. My third camper was a girl who attended camp for the first time and did not find me or anyone else to be a haven of safety for the first few days. She was quiet, had difficulty walking (and so would I if I had two prosthetic limbs), and did not adapt well to being told when to do things and where to go.

After a quick lunch, a chaotic reunion between many campers and counselors, and a change of clothes, we all went whitewater rafting. The little kids were on a relatively benign river with a few large ripples of water every now and then. The bigger kids (and me) went on the Nantahala River, which was not at all benign and a cool 55 degrees which left my toes numb by the time we finished the 8-mile ride. Dinner and dry clothes were wonderful, and then the first attempt at bedtime enforcement began. I was ill-prepared for how to best allow 3 little girls enjoy camp and also keep them quiet after "lights out". Trust me, the concept of whispering does not last long for girls that age, especially on the first night of camp when excitement and fear combine to create an atmosphere of giggles, screams, and whines. One of my campers presented me with two pill boxes for the week, which contained more pills than any elderly person probably takes. As I lay in bed that night trying to quiet the girls down, I was wishing I could give a double dose of the nighttime medications, but I resisted. And after two trips to the bathroom with two different girls, we finally all settled down for the night at around 11:30. I think this is when I took a shower. I didn't get the girls showered until the next morning. Whew, what a day!

The next three days were pretty similar if not busier, but each day I felt a little more prepared and had a little more rapport with my campers. They were more tired each night, so thankfully bedtime was easier each night. Before camp was over, they had been horseback riding, gem mining, played tennis, went to a swimming pool, and spent a day on a lake swimming, tubing, and skiing.

So you may still be wondering how I became filled as my energy became sapped. First of all, I prayed before the camp for God to give me the selflessness to continually place campers above myself and even other volunteers' needs above my own. I don't know if I succeeded in this or not, but I did feel God's mercy on me as I woke up at 4:30am when one of my campers fell out of the top bunk (she was basically ok, considering the height from which she fell), I felt a patience that was not my own when I was awakened at 5:30am another day by a girl who had just wet the bed and was covered in urine (and it smelled), and I felt God's provision when I happened to be watching and close enough to jump in the pool as one of my campers sunk to the bottom and nearly drowned. How could I not be filled when I have been so blessed beyond my own patience and power?

Also, I was impacted this year even more than last year by the sheer reality of this camp and the fact that it exists. In a perfect world, there would be no need for an amputee camp. There would be no children born with under-developed or missing limbs. There would be no young lives that have been interrupted unapologetically by cancer. In a perfect world these precious kids would not need to gather together in order to feel accepted and loved for who they are. In a perfect world this camp would not exist. Last year, I absolutely LOVED this camp and had a great time. This year, I absolutely fell IN LOVE with the kids for whom the camp exists. Each of the kids is unique and special, and it is a joy to look them in the eyes and try to learn who they are. I am so thankful to have been invited into their lives for even a few days, and I look forward to watching many of them grow into young men and women in the years to come. I still have no idea what any of these kids (or any adults) with amputations experience on a daily basis, though I have seen the logistics of putting on and taking off prosethetic limbs, writing and eating with one or no hands, and navigating stairs or hills with crutches or prosthetic legs. I still don't know what it is like to look in the mirror and not see a symmetrical reflection, but I am learning to look at each of my new friends and see a complete and wonderful person. So I guess my spirit was filled last week by a dose of harsh reality that was followed and overwhelmed by a dose of sweet comeraderie.

With two of my campers on a pontoon boat at Lake Fontana

How can you not love that face?

Leg fell off... who cares!?! Having too much fun!

Two of my girls - they happened to have the same shirt.

This kid climbed the 40-foot ropes course on his first try!

Map: Summer 2008

I'm not sure where to start, but let's just say I started in Atlanta and now I am here again, thousands of miles later. As I took a deep breath today and recounted where all I have driven, flown, slept, eaten, and run in the last 2 months, I thought of those maps in the Bible that show you where Paul traveled. So I made my own map, which you can see below. The solid colored lines represent trips when I was driving and the spray paint looking lines are flights. Unlike the treks of Paul, I did not walk or ride an animal to get from place to place, though I did ride a horse while I was in California. I stayed in some of the cities (listed on the legend) one night and in some for up to 5 nights, and overall I have slept in 21 different places in the past 2 months. Zero of these places have been in my own bed, and I am looking forward with much longing to the day that I will see it again. I don't have the time or the energy right now to explain all these travels in further detail, so I will try to hit the highlights over the next few weeks with some pictures and memories. In short, I feel truly blessed to even know of 21 different places to stay and people to stay with in various cities from Charlotte to Austin to Ann Arbor. I stayed in 3 hotels and 2 beach condos, so I guess that leaves 16 houses or apartments where people invited me in (ok, sometimes I invited myself) and welcomed me for some amount of time into their homes. I regret that I don't have a home right now so that I can return the favors and extend the same hospitality to these friends, but someday I look forward to having you all over to visit... somewhere.

Colored Water

I was at the beach a few weeks ago and saw this crazy reflection on the water right around sunset. The crazy thing was that (a) the sun had already set when I took this picture, and (b) the sun was more in the direction of the dark water and behind me than where the orange water was. I've never seen anything quite like it before.

Free Beer!

Missy, John, and I discovered the Atlanta Brewing Company for the first time last night. This brewing facility is located about 2 miles from where I live, and they have "tours" every Wednesday night at which visitors can purchase a souvenir glass for $7. With the glass, you get 6 bottle caps, each good for a full glass of freshly tapped beer. The beer itself is free because it would be illegal for the brewing company to sell their beer at the manufacturing facility. And they are not trying to con people into buying the glasses, because they also have plastic cups available for free if you'd rather not buy a glass. And there was a DJ there playing music the whole time for a little entertainment. We could not believe that this place has been right under our noses for the last two years, and we just found out about it a few weeks before graduation. I am not a huge beer drinker myself, but it was a great time and I really liked a few of the brews that they offered. If I ever actually redeem 6 bottle caps during the 2-hour time frame that the "tour" is open, it will be a bad night... But a couple of glasses for $7 is still a great deal. I discovered that I like hefeweizen, which means something about wheat beer, so I even learned something new. I have been writing tour in quotes because noone actually went on the tour. The little sitting area around the bar was full of tour patrons, but when the tour was announced we all chose to sit around and enjoy the beer instead. Maybe next week we will make time for the tour.

Spring

As is typical for me this time of year, I am basking in the wonderful joys of Spring. The warm weather (except for the last few days), the sun shining, the trees blooming, and everyone generally finding excuses to be outside and active. Winter simply encourages me to huddle up, move as little as possible, stay inside, and pray for Spring.

So praise God for Spring and for all the newness, warmth, and energy that it brings every year. I took the photo below at a Georgia Tech baseball game last weekend against Miami. GT lost pretty badly, but it was a beautiful night. It was also a somber night, because one of the GT players had died the day before this game. As far as I know, noone knows why or how he died yet, but it was sudden and very unexpected. Under the gorgeous Spring sky, as the sun is beginning to set behind the camera, the field and the players appear as usual. But if you look closely in the foreground, along the 3rd base line, you will see the number 40 painted onto the impeccably maintained grass. This was in honor of the boy who just a few nights before was in uniform with his friends and teammates. It was kind of strange for me as a disconnected spectator. I can't imagine what his teammates and family were going through.

The Light

I had the distinct pleasure this Easter morning of enjoying a sunrise service on the top of a mountain. Well, ok, if Stone Mountain counts as a mountain... in actuality it is a bug hunk of granite rock. Nevertheless, I was at a high elevation with a view of the entire city of Atlanta and beyond. It all started at 5:15am, when I met up with some of my friends from church at one of their houses. We drove to Stone Mountain Park and then proceeded to hike up the mountain towards the top. It's 1 mile up the side of the rock. As we were walking, Don commented on the beautiful full moon that we were enjoying, as otherwise the sky was completely dark. He said, "You know, if someone had never seen the sun, they would probably think that the moon was really bright, but it pales in comparison to the real light of the sun." Something I'm sure you have heard before, as I have, but really it is amazing the clear picture that we saw of this as darkness turned into light before our eyes. You can see in this first photo what the sky looked like when we got to the top of the mountain. Dark. Actually, this was not right when we got there because the skyline was not even lighting up yet at that time, but still you can see that it was dark. If you scan the middle of the picture, just below the lightening horizon, that is the ground below. It is where we live. It was completely black. And even though we have created little lights to help us see the roads or our front doors or parking lots, viewed from this elevation it is clear that we do not provide much light for ourselves at all. See the little specks dotting the ground? This was not a forest, you are looking at the city, granted it is not the downtown area. I'm sure I don't have to point out, but I will, that this is what our lives are like when we attempt to live on our own. We attempt to shed a little light on our circumstances or those of our friends and family. We try to understand the world around us. We even try to show others the way. But if we are not living in the true Light and leading each other there constantly, we reduce ourselves to the little specks of light. They don't illuminate beyond our little personal space, if that. Ok, moving on….




So this next photo was taken at literally the first moment that I saw the sun peek up over the horizon. See the little top edge of the sun? It is barely there at all, and yet look at the brightness! The world is suddenly illuminated. The little specks of light on the ground are vastly outshined. They are insignificant, and so are our own efforts to lead ourselves and others in this world. I had to ask myself later, am I truly experiencing the Light in my life right now? Or am I blindly feeling my way through tough decisions and relationships and demands? Is my flashlight shining, or have I done away with my insignificant source of light? Am I more comfortable with the flashlight, not wanting to really see my life for what it is? And you will probably agree that was enough questions for one day. Praise God that He loves us enough to provide Light when we are lost, which if we are honest is pretty much every day.

The rest of the sunrise…

You do the Math

A few weeks ago, I realized that I was going to have to board my dog for a then upcoming trip. I was heading to Orlando for a conference and would be gone for 4 days. Because I was returning on a Saturday night, in boarding terms that would equal to 6 days as they are not open on Sundays. The place that I normally board my dog is conveniently within a few miles of my place, but it costs $27/night. For 6 nights, that would be over $162. So, being the resourceful person that I am, I decided to find a different kennel for Kelsey. I was very excited to locate a place in Alpharetta (about 30 miles from my place) that would board her for $18/night. AND as a special bonus, they offered a 5th night free discount, and furthermore, they had a Sunday pickup time! With this wonderful find, I was down to $72 total plus a $20 bath - why not? Even with the extra cost of gas for driving to Alpharetta and back (twice) it was still much cheaper than the alternative.

Everything went swimmingly until a few days after I picked Kelsey up from this kennel. In the middle of the night last Thursday, at about precisely 3am, she startled me in the middle of the night with a fit of coughing and heaving that had me fearing her imminent death. After a few minutes of freaking out for both of us, she stopped hacking and sort of looked at me like what just happened and why didn't you prevent it? I apologized profusely (yes, to my dog), gave her a few love pats, and then settled back into bed. A few hours later, same deal, hacking, coughing, heaving, freaking, etc. Then it was over again. I sort of hoped it would go away, but Friday night proved to be about the same, not to mention she had a few fits during the day on Friday. Saturday morning, it hit me all of a sudden - one of the required vaccinations for boarding your dog is for kennel cough. I quickly googled this and found that Kelsey's symptoms were remarkably similar to the description. It turns out kennel cough is highly contagious in dogs and not surpisingly is commonly picked up in kennels. So off we went to the vet, who was thankfully able to see her on a Saturday and on short notice. She agreed that it was probably kennel cough and prescribed some antibiotics.

Here is where the math comes in. The vet cost $78 for the visit and medication. So did I save any money after all? Ok, I'll do the math for you. No, I did not save money. In fact, it has now cost me more money in total than it would have been to just board Kelsey at the expensive kennel. Sigh. I sort of felt God laughing at me as I realized all of this. Not that he enjoys seeing me get exasperated, but in the grand scheme of things, all of my planning and scheming just didn't amount to much. Pretty typical of the planning and scheming of my little earthly self.