Adoption Story

I realized recently that I have not been posting much about the happenings of life. There is a reason for this, as I have been preoccupied from many of the everyday happenings of life. What I have been occupied with is a fairly long but wonderful story, so go ahead and sit down before you read it.

Many of you out there who know me know that I was adopted as a baby. If you did not know, now you do! My parents (I will say adoptive parents just to clarify) had a son already, who is now my older brother, but they could not have any more children. After many years of heartache and distress over this, as they desired to have another child, they were presented with the potential to adopt. Enter Marcia into the story. Marcia was a young college student, pregnant and unable to support a child while in school. She could have quickly gotten out of this situation, but she loved that baby (me) enough to go through with her pregnancy and offer me a family who could raise and support me. After I was born, my parents took me home at the ripe age of 3 days old, and I was instantly a part of the family. I don't remember this, but I can tell by the smiles on their faces in old photos that I was truly cherished as the newest member of the family.

For as long as I can remember, I have known that I was adopted, and it was never really a big family issue. I didn't ask too many questions, though I had some, and I went on with life as though I had no unknown past. I never once had to doubt that my parents loved me, despite the fact that I often tested their love like every good teenager does.

When I was 18 years old and a Freshman at Auburn, my dad told me that my birth mother had contacted the adoption attorney and made her contact information available. To be quite honest, I didn't know what to do with that news at the time. So, instead of facing it and asking myself hard questions, I tucked it away. I often thought about the fact that a whole new world of information was only a phone call or letter away, but something always held me back from making the move. I knew that one day I would want to make that connection, to thank the woman who so selflessly gave me up, and to find out where I came from. I shared that part of me with various close friends over the years, and they inevitably encouraged me to move forward. Still, I waited.

After I graduated from college and started working and establishing my life as an adult, I started to think more seriously about making that contact. During my first several years after college, I learned a lot about myself and about God, and I began to feel more comfortable with the uncertaintly of what and who I might find. It was comforting to know that my birth mother, somewhere out there, had made the first move. She wanted to contact me, and that took away one of the huge fears of whether she would want to know me at all. Slowly but surely, I began to warm up to the idea of exploring this unknown territory. During the summer of 2005, I asked a few close friends to start praying with me specifically about moving forward. Over the next several months, I talked to both of my parents about my desire to finally make that move. They were both more supportive than I could have asked, and I first met with the attorney in May of this year. My dad went with me to discuss with him how to proceed from there, as we knew now it was only a matter of time before I would finally be in contact with my birth mother. He suggested that we each write a letter to one another and give them to him so that he could distribute them to us without identifying information. Though we were both ready to be in direct contact, we agreed to take this cautious route to get the ball rolling. I cannot really explain why, but it took me all summer to get around to writing that letter. I guess I was still putting a lot of pressure on the situation, and I was still a little apprehensive about things. Finally, I managed to write the long overdue letter of thanks and introduction to my birth mother. I added a few family photos from recent years and hand-delivered it to the attorney while I was in Baton Rouge in late July. Little did I know, Marcia had written her letter to me within a week or two of our initial agreement. Yet again, I was guilty of stalling and prolonging this moment that she had so long awaited. So, our letters were sent out shortly thereafter, and I first received Marcia's letter to me on August 3. Much to my surprise, I opened the supposedly anonymous letter to find that Marcia's name and address had been included with the forwarded package. I dug further and found an envelope marked, "To My Daughter". I took a deep breath and then furiously opened that envelope to find a handwritten letter that was overflowing with excitement and love far beyond what I had expected or hoped. I think I had been afraid to expect too much, but I realized very quickly that this woman would be a wonderful new addition to my life.

I soon wrote to Marcia directly, and we wrote back and forth for several weeks, and each new letter from her began to bring our whole situation into perspective for me. I had never allowed myself to immerse into the reality of where I came from and who I was. A huge part of that had to do with how little I knew of the history, but I also tended to try to live life outside of that reality. It is a strange thing, to be part of a family that took me in as a stranger, so I tried to just act normal and not let it bother me. So, without getting into all of the emotional details, lets just say that the first few weeks of communicating with Marcia were extremely eye-opening and transforming for me. I was facing for the first time this unknown person and starting to process her side of our story. At the same time, I was enjoying immensely getting to know a woman who has proven to be beautiful, genuine, loving, strong, wise, encouraging, and so much more. I have learned that Marcia is married but was not able to have any more biological children. In the face of that disappointment, she graciously adopted two sons who are both more than ten years my junior.

For several weeks now, we have been communicating more frequently by e-mail rather than snail mail. We have been able to send pictures, learn some of our similarities, and introduce our respective families to one another. As we quickly began to plow through all of this sharing, we have been anticipating when we will finally meet face-to-face. Our families are both extremely supportive of us and are sharing in our excitement, and they are also waiting to meet us when we can arrange it. Marcia has offered to fly up here to Atlanta from the New Orleans area in just 2 short weeks, and we will finally get to embrace one another after 28+ years of wondering and waiting! It is hard to believe all that has happened in such a short time, and it is hard to believe how wonderfully God has arranged every detail thus far. I trust that He will continue to bless each step we take as there will surely be many more questions to work through as we incorporate one another into our lives and families. So, without further adieu, take a look for yourself at our respective pictures. I think you will see the resemblance. Before long, we will be able to actually take a picture standing side by side!