The 5 Languages of the 4-way Stop

If you’ve every actually driven a car, even in a small town, chances are that you have come across the inevitable 4-way stop.  I happen to pass 3 4-way stops on my way to work each day (and on the way home, of course).  I propose that these seemingly simple intersections with clearly defined traffic laws are a great place to observe the full scope of our humanity.  It is actually baffling, is it not, that we so often cannot (or will not)recognize whose turn it is to go?  

The rules are not difficult.  I am just going on memory here, but my understanding is as follows:

All drivers are required to come to a full stop upon arriving at the intersection.

The driver that arrives (and therefore stops) first will also go first.

If you arrive at the same time, a car to the left will yield to a car on the right.

That’s it.

The difficulty usually begins when one or more drivers fail to follow rule #1, come to a full stop.  If you never actually stop, how do you know who arrived at the intersection first?  Well, that’s where my analysis starts coming into play.

Some of you may have heard of the Five Love Languages, a great book that introduces and describes a concept related to understanding and knowing yourself and others in relationships.  If you are interested in knowing more about that, I’m sure you can find the book or just google the basics online.  What I am proposing is that there are also five languages that dictate our behavior in relationship to other people, and these languages are best observed at a 4-way stop.  Whether the intersection is busy or not does not change the expression of these languages, though I have observed that things are often more confusing when an intersection is less busy, leaving more room for creatively deciding who arrived first.  

The five languages that I have observed at 4-way stops are: legalism, pride, fear, generosity, and indifference.  I’ll describe each one in detail.

Legalism

The driver who approaches a 4-way stop with a legalist mentality is obviously there to follow the rules.  This person always comes to a full stop, always pays attention to other drivers, makes good eye contact, and confidently (but respectfully) goes when it is his or her turn.  If all drivers were legalists... well, let’s be honest, that would never happen.  But it would be nice.

Pride

This driver is the most important person on the road at any given time, so naturally they are also the most important person at a 4-way stop, regardless of whether they arrived first or not.  The prideful driver is not concerned about any other cars, any rules, or anyone else’s feelings (presumably).  Stopping is optional and usually not necessary or observed.  The only minor concern about other cars is that getting in an accident is not desirable, so the prideful driver will yield to others in order to avoid impending collisions.  Otherwise, it’s full steam ahead, and all the other suckers can wait.

Fear

Timidity is the hallmark of this driver.  Approaching a 4-way stop may be the most daunting task of the day.  The rules are either poorly misunderstood or just not trusted, because this person has a tendency to yield to others even when it is rightfully their turn to go.  Fearful drivers sit anxiously at a complete stop, hands at ten and two, eyes darting around with trepidation.  Should I go?  Should I wait?  They might let their foot off the brake briefly, but if any other driver flinches, they slam on the brakes again.  Oh dear!  The legalist struggles with this person, not wanting to go out of turn.  The prideful driver simply agrees that, yes, they are more important, and thank you for the acknowledgement.  

Generosity

This driver is pleasant enough, and selfless to a fault.  They may be the first of four cars to arrive at a 4-way stop, but nevertheless, they will wave each of the other three cars to go before finally proceeding with cheerfulness.  The generous driver is not as stress-inducing for others as the fearful driver, but the fact remains that things are not going according to the rulebook as the waving or light-flashing persists.

Indifference  

This character is the most squirrelly and difficult to predict of all.  She may be the mom in a minivan with kids raging in the backseat, a teenager lost in a daydream, or the young professional involved in an intense phonecall on his bluetooth.  Worst of all, the texter.  Regardless of the source of distraction, the indifferent driver approaches a 4-way stop with no clue as to what is happening here.  By the time this driver starts to try to go, the other drivers have already decided that it is not worth waiting for the space cadet to figure out it’s his turn.  This leads to a lot of stop-start false moves and sometimes even a near collision, which leads to copious honking of horns.  I wonder how many horns are honked per car passing through a 4-way stop on a given day?

If you’ve ever driven through a 4-way stop, you may recognize one or more of these drivers.  You most certainly ARE one of them.  So, which one are you?

Les Miserables

I’m enjoying a quiet first day of 2013, sipping on hot coffee, and listening to the soothing fall of rain outside.  I could do this all day.  I probably will ;)

A few nights ago, I went to see the new Les Miserables movie.  I confess, that after having seen the 1998 film and the musical on broadway in 2000, my grasp of the details in the story remained lacking.  Seeing the new film unfortunately did not help much to put together the pieces for me.  I have a hard time following the storyline when none of the characters will stop singing for just a minute and say something coherent for my little mind to wrap around.  Don’t get me wrong, the singing was phenomenal for the most part, the drama powerful, the emotion palpable.  The overarching theme of redemption is almost impossible to miss, regardless of how many versions you have seen or whether this new version was/will be your first.  I finally took a little time this morning to research the plot and characters, so some of the gaps in my understanding are now less gaping.  I feel better about it all, actually.  

**If you have not seen the film and do not want to know basically how it ends, stop reading here**

What touched me most in this new film version of Les Miserables was the ending, the last song titled “Epilogue”.  I’ve never seen on the big screen such a powerful picture of heaven.  As the characters are singing together about death, redemption, and new life, the screen depicts a distinct visual transition from dirty, dingy streets of death to a cleaner, restored, brighter, and happier city.  In this restored city, all of the characters who died in the movie are alive again, and they are together, and they are hopeful.  The consistent themes throughout the story of loss, poverty, filth, despair, and grief are replaced with the opposite of these experiences, with the redeemed version of each character.  A small segment of the lyrics during this scene are as follows:

Fantine (as Valjean is dying): 

Come with me, where chains will never bind you

All your grief, at last, at last behind you

Lord in Heaven, look down on him in mercy

Chorus:

For the wretched of the earth

There is a flame that never dies

Even the darkest night will end

And the sun will rise

They will live again in freedom

In the garden of the Lord

...

The chain will be broken

And all men will have their reward

This lyrical and visual fire hydrant as the film ends is a very tangible depiction of what God promises us in Revelation 21:1-4:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them.  They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the order of things has passed away.”

It’s a beautiful truth to cling to in moments, days, and even years of pain.  When humans are faced with the true mortality of this world, we can’t help but hope for something better, and thank God that he has promised to fulfill that hope.

God and the Sandy Hook Shootings, Part I

I’ve been continuing to think about the recent school shooting, and more specifically how to respond to such an atrocity.  I think what we “do” in response to such an event is less important, in the grand scheme of life, than what we believe in response to the event.  For example, some beliefs about this tragedy might be:

None of those victims deserved to die.
Guns are bad.
Schools are not safe.
God should have stopped this from happening.
Some of the victims must have deserved to die.
God allowed this to happen.
God is bad.
God is good.
God is distant.

I am not going to support or refute any of these potential responses, nor is my intention to present the model response.  I hope to explain my own understanding of who God is, because a large majority of the questions asked after a tragedy revolve around God.  I find it interesting that an event of such magnitude with such great loss does tend to rouse within us very strong and distinct views about other people, about our culture, about ourselves, and about God.  Those views, however, are not simply born from hearing of or witnessing a tragic event.  Our views may be affected over time by such events, but our immediate response is more likely born from the views that we held prior to the event itself.

In my last blog, I started to unpack my own beliefs about God.  What I realized in thinking through my response to the recent school shooting is that I believe that God is good.  I hope that this does not sound trite.  I do not hold this belief without challenge or circumstances that beg me to doubt, in my own life and in the lives of my family and friends.  Despite many apparent indications of the contrary, I really do believe that God is good.  One of the key foundations of what I believe has been the Bible itself, God’s word to us.  God’s word is a relationship builder.  It’s not a self-help book, though it can be used to help oneself.  It is not a rule book, though there are laws and rules laid out in it.  It’s not simply a history book, though there is a lot of history found in the Bible.  As a whole, the Bible tells a story, and the point of that story is God’s covenant with his people and His unconditional, undying love for His people.  The intent is that we would know who God is, and not only that we would know who God is but that we would know Him.

God tells us this in Jeremiah 9:23-24:

This is what the Lord says: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom or the strong man boast in his strength or the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord.

If we know God, and we know that he delights in and pursues kindness, justice and righteousness, it’s hard to blame God when tragedies occur.  It doesn’t mean that we know the answers.  I don’t know all the answers, but I do know this God.  And in knowing Him, I know that he’s not vengeful, he’s just.  I know that he’s not cruel, he’s kind.  I know that he’s not evil, he’s righteous.  And because I know those things, I’m comforted when there are times of suffering or questions that I can’t answer.  I think in those moments, when I don’t understand, it is the heart of man that is hard to trust.  I know who God is.  And the God that I know is good.

I don't want to ignore the reality of unanswered questions, but this is my starting point.  In the spirit of my blog's new headliner quote, I do intend to continue pursuing the discomfort of thought as I unpack my thoughts about why God allowed something like the Sandy Hook Elementary shootings to occur.

Why I Have a Hard Time Writing...

I was asked recently when I would write another blog.  My answer, "I don't know, probably soon".  What I thought in my head was, "I write blogs almost every day, but they are never actually written down."  They are streams of thought that I have as I am driving, or working on something with my hands, or cooking, or watching tv, or drying my hair, or raking leaves....  I think all the time about everything, about God, about people, about politics, work, family, being single, the past, the future, the beauty of leaves.  I can't not think.  This is a horrible trait to have when it's time to get some rest, as I'm sure many of you can relate to.  As soon as your head hits the pillow: what am I going to wear tomorrow, what do I have to do tomorrow, did I buy that thing today, I forgot to mail a card, I have got to book that flight, etc etc etc.  Yet, somehow, despite all the thinking that goes on, taking a few minutes to sit and type out those thoughts seems an astronomical task.  Where do I start?  What did I think about today that I want to share with others?  Will they care?  Do I care if they care?  Does anyone have time to read thoughts?  Why would they?  Oh, I don't know where to start.  Maybe tomorrow.  

And THAT, my dear faithful few friends, is why I have a hard time writing.  So today I tried something new.  On my way from point A to point B, I used my iphone memo app to record my thoughts.  When I got to point B, I stopped, after 8 minutes, 27 seconds.  When I got home, I typed it out, literally word for word.  No editing, with the exception of not typing every time I said "um".  Be assured, I have no intention of continuing to type out my "memos" word for word, but I thought this first one would be interesting to share.  It shows just how tangential my mind can be, despite trying to focus on one cohesive subject: responding to last Friday's shootings and the questioning of God's goodness that follows.  From now on, I will use the memo app to help focus my thoughts so that I can then edit them into an actual cohesive blog.  Until then...

For your reading pleasure, or lack thereof, here is today's memo:

"What we believe about God when faced with trials and with tragedy is shaped by what we believe about God outside of that tragedy.  And what we believe about God is a combination of different inputs.  It’s a combination of what we’ve been taught, which we then filtered by our own life experience.  Some of what we believe about God - at least in my life - comes from reading his word, because I believe that the Bible is word that has been breathed by God to his people.  And what I believe about God from his word is shaped by my own view of what that word means.  I believe that it’s true.  I believe that if it’s written there and has survived for centuries on end has been translated and survived the original compilation of his word, I trust in the people of God that he chose, that it’s true.  I also believe that God’s word does not contradict itself, and I believe that if my life experience contradicts God, then rather than questioning God, I must question my own world view and my view of God.  That’s hard to do.  That’s not easy to admit at times, that maybe what I experience is tainted in a way, tainted by my own sin, tainted by selfishness.  My view of any given situation is interpreted by my need to feel loved, it’s interpreted by my need to feel accepted, it’s interpreted by my need to feel peace and comfort, and when those needs are challenged, I don’t want to believe sometimes the word of God which may make me uncomfortable, which may be at times hard to reconcile with what I want to believe about the world and about myself and about other people.  So, as I think about who God is and how I view events in this world, I want to go back and look at what God tells us about the world and about humans, people, his creation.  Because he tells us that we were created very specifically to display his glory, and when he did create man and woman, he declared that they were good.  And we don’t know the time frame I don’t think, but while man and woman were still only one man and one woman, they distrusted God.  He simply wanted them to reflect his glory, and in doing so, to know him intimately and to love him and be loved by him.... I guess first to be loved by him and to love him in return.  And that’s what he wants for all of his people, and yet in that setting where there was no sin, there were no tragedies to respond to, there were no evil people to make Adam and Eve distrust God, they questioned him because of their very nature.  Their nature was to want to displace God... I take that back, there was evil, because there was the existence of the serpent who knew the heart of man and woman and knew exactly how to lead them into sin.  The evil one simply suggested that maybe God did not want what was best for them, that maybe they should take ownership of meeting their own needs, and they gladly, quickly chose to do that.  So because God was intending to meet every last need of Adam and Eve, and because in doing so, he chose to protect them by limiting in some ways their access to certain things, specifically the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they chose to rebel."

There you have it, 8 minutes and 27 seconds of verbal stream of consciousness.  That's it, cut off by my arrival at point B.

Hope That Does Not Disappoint

I came across a verse today in the Bible and unexpectedly (which shows how strong my faith is) heard a truth from God in a new light. No, I did not literally “hear” anything, but my mind was distinctly opened to new insight as I read this passage. So, I asked a few more questions, found a few more references, and decided to share…

I went looking for this passage because I needed a pep-talk today, a really basic one, one that I could grasp not only because of it’s familiarity but because of it’s simplicity. This is the passage I went to:

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” -Romans 5:3-5

What struck me most about this familiar passage was the last verse, where Paul describes exactly why hope does not disappoint. Think for a moment about your concept of hope. How would you define hope, in general? Now, how would you define hope as it is referred to in the Bible? What is it that we are to hope in? How can we know that hope will not disappoint?

In my experience, society in general presents hope as a desire that something specific will happen in the future. For example, we may hope to one day have children. If we have children, we hope that they will be successful adults. If we don’t have a job, we hope we can find one. Right? So let’s take these hopes and put a “Christian” spin on them. Now I am hoping for the same things, but I think that if I pray for them the right way, or frequently enough, or if God loves me (which I believe He does), then I will certainly get what I hope for. If you ask me point blank, I will deny that I can earn any favor from God, but deep down I tend to believe that I will get what I hope for. That’s what scripture says, right? “Ask and it will be given to you…” – Matthew 7:7 I believe that this concept of asking and receiving is often misunderstood, by myself as much as anyone else. I want to believe that I will be able to pray for and receive all that I hope for in this world, but now we have to ask again: what is hope and how can I know it will not disappoint? Another common tool we use in society (in and outside of the Christian church) is the practice of boosting our hope because of someone else’s encouraging story. I do not want to belittle the power of encouragement that we can and should take from hearing stories of perseverance, luck, healing, provision, or any other means of attaining certain circumstances or joys. However, as we look at this particular hope that does not disappoint, Paul is not referring to a hope that is boosted by the success or joy of other people. In fact, success and joy are not really required. Unfortunately, not everyone can experience the same encouraging stories, and sometimes what we hope for doesn’t happen. We know all too well the reality from Proverbs 13:12 that “hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Thankfully, the truth does not end there. Two things that Paul says about hope stood out to me in the passage from Romans. First of all, hope does not originate from what we look forward to. Hope is the product of character, which is developed through perseverance, and perseverance is required as we experience suffering. Hope, then, originates from our past experiences. Paul does not say, “Well, life’s been pretty rough, but I can look forward with hope that it will improve.” Instead, he describes a hope that is grown through experience, a hope that has not been satisfied in this world and does not pretend that it will be. Yet, in the face of dissatisfaction, there is rejoicing. What? This is the second truth: hope does not disappoint. How? Paul clearly describes that the reason hope does not disappoint is because it is based on what has already been done, not on what is yet to come. “Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” As is often the case with God’s truth, this is totally counter-intuitive. Instead of looking to the future for our hope to be fulfilled, we must look to the past and even embrace the present. God has already poured out his love by the Holy Spirit, which he has already given to us.

I have often allowed myself to believe that hope is not meant to be satisfied in this world, not fully. Our real hope will be fulfilled in heaven. I think that is partially true but slightly misconstrued. Based on Paul’s explanation, we can fully experience hope fulfilled in this life if we hope in what God has already done. What must wait for heaven is a full experience of the glory of God.

“In His great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” -1 Peter 1:3

Support Adventure Amputee Camp!

Please consider sponsoring me as I take on the Chicago Marathon next weekend – all proceeds will go directly to Adventure Amputee Camp! Read on for the reason why and the details.

[Below was written on 9/5/11]

It’s now 34 days until the Chicago Marathon, a race that I walked/ran my way through last year after a still-undiagnosed knee problem started 14 months ago today. I was happy to finish the race, of course, though I would much rather run the entire 26.2 miles. My legs, which used to keep on going until I couldn’t breathe anymore or just got bored, have now posed quite a limitation to a running hobby that I love dearly. After last year’s mediocre race, I held out hope that this year would be different – so I signed up again to join a few friends for the Chicago race. The knee pain, however, persists. Without getting into all the treatments and trials attempted in this battle, suffice it to say that a diagnosis still eludes me, and pain-free running is becoming less and less of a possibility.

As I have struggled mentally and physically to overcome a limitation that I refuse to accept but must contend with every time I try to run freely, I have found great inspiration from the campers, counselors, and other volunteers associated with Adventure Amputee Camp. You see, the motto and creed of Adventure Amputee Camp is “Challenge By Choice”. The campers, all of whom have either a congenital or acquired limb difference, are offered the opportunity to choose challenges throughout their time at camp. I have been inspired for 5 years now to see kids with one or no legs (or arms) choose to tackle a ropes course that is no joke regardless of how many limbs you have. They choose to take another step, to climb to another height, to face their fears and to overcome their physical limitations. Many of these kids face challenges in everyday life alone that I will never be faced with, but they press on! I think about them every time I am out running (or walking, mostly) and reach a hurdle. I can either call it quits (which many people would recommend), or I can take on the challenge, by choice.

Adventure Amputee Camp, Lake Day 2008

And so, as the Chicago Marathon looms ahead, and my knee pain continues to prove to be an obstacle, I am choosing to take on the challenge. As I do so, I would love to know that every mile I complete in Chicago will make a difference. I am asking that you consider sponsoring me per mile for as little as 50 cents, $1, $2, or more – every penny will be forwarded directly to Adventure Amputee Camp. You can do the math to determine how much this donation will amount to if I finish the 26.2 miles. Please check out the camp website for more information and inspiration: http://www.adventureamputeecamp.org/

If you are interested in sponsoring me for this cause, please text, call, e-mail, or facebook message me the amount per mile you would like to commit to. I will follow up with you regarding further details.

The Discomfort of Thought

After a few years now of few and far between blogs, I have had a few – exactly 2 – requests to return to the old habit. It’s hard to start back into a habit, right? Flossing, keeping that dusting schedule, making your bed, exercising regularly… all are easy when they become habit, but once you stop, well you know how it goes. Anyway, I recently saw a very provoking question posted to Facebook by a friend of mine, very simply put, “Do Christians believe in the death penalty?” Simple sounding question with no simple answer. I almost dismissed the thought and moved on, but then I remembered my very own favorite quote and decided I better think this one through; the quote is from JFK, “Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought”. So here goes, returning to the blog with some serious introspection...

My gut reaction to the question was something like this… well, that depends on who you ask. Not all Christians agree. I believe in the death penalty, I think. I don’t always agree with how it is implemented or enforced, but I have no problem with the idea in itself. Or do I? Some crimes deserve harsh punishment. Some deserve the ultimate punishment, I think, but on the other hand there is that whole sanctity of life argument. Hmmm.

So I have thought about this on and off for a few weeks now. And my thoughts have become slightly more sophisticated but still lack a certain clarity that I desire. This is not a simple yes or no question, because whether one says yes or no must be supported by reasoning, motive, and sound logic. Why? Because the answer one offers must be arrived at by weaving a matrix of opinions regarding many other important questions and issues. The death penalty in itself is a simplified (sort of) endpoint to a combination of supporting beliefs. For example, does one believe in the sanctity of life, that all life is sacred and should be protected? Is there any distinguishing factor that would lessen one life compared to another? What about social justice? Is justice something that can and should be carried out in our world, by each other and by our government? We do have a justice system, as do most governments in the world. Is it the right and duty of our government to enforce justice? If so, and if they make laws and clearly make known the consequences for breaking those laws, is it acceptable for them to then apply those consequences? Which consequences are appropriate for which crimes? A fine for speeding? Confinement for molesting? An eye for an eye? A life for a life? Now we are touching on decisions that must be made for each government, decisions made by people of varying backgrounds, worldviews, and beliefs. Regardless of the rules, though, every person living under the established guidelines has the same freedom to follow them or to suffer the consequences. Then, if this justice system is good and acceptable in theory, is the implementation of the system good and acceptable? Now we are involving more people who must interpret, judge, convict, and sentence an alleged breaker of the law. Now we are entering into very gray areas. The black and white are nowhere to be found.

As a Christian, saved by grace rather than my own goodness or any resemblance of goodness, I do not feel the freedom to answer this question simply based on my feelings or what seems fair. So, I will try to peel apart the question to determine what is acceptable to my God, which I will agree with because I believe He is good and trustworthy.

First, is it acceptable for the government to establish a system of justice? I turned to this passage from the Bible for some insight on this question:

1 Corinthians 13:1-7
“1 Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. 4 For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience. 6 This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.”

That’s kind of harsh sounding, but if I am a believer in Christ, the Word of God is my authority. It seems pretty plain that God has called me, through this message from Paul, to submit to the government under which I live, a government which might "bear swords". Does this mean that all governments are good? I don’t think so. That’s an entirely different topic. But I’m only trying to answer one question, sort of. So I think the answer to this first question is yes, it is acceptable for the government to establish a justice system.

Is it acceptable for one of the consequences of crime to be punishment by death? I can’t honestly find any source that says it is not an acceptable punishment. For what crimes? I can’t find any source that says what crimes deserve punishment by death. I do think it’s interesting that Jesus was crucified, yet he did not try to argue against the practice of this form of punishment. Two other men died with him for crimes they committed, and he died in their midst for the sins of all of God’s people. Despite this atrocity, Jesus did not discuss the idea of crucifixion that I am aware of (please advise if I am wrong), nor did his disciples argue the practice in itself. The great injustice in this scenario was that Jesus committed no crime that Pilate, the Roman governor, could discover. Pilate, however, allowed the Jewish crowd to convince him to sentence Jesus to death.

John 19: 4-16
“4 Once more Pilate came out and said to the Jews gathered there, “Look, I am bringing him out to you to let you know that I find no basis for a charge against him.” 5 When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, “Here is the man!”
6 As soon as the chief priests and their officials saw him, they shouted, “Crucify! Crucify!”
But Pilate answered, “You take him and crucify him. As for me, I find no basis for a charge against him.”
7 The Jewish leaders insisted, “We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God.”
8 When Pilate heard this, he was even more afraid, 9 and he went back inside the palace. “Where do you come from?” he asked Jesus, but Jesus gave him no answer. 10 “Do you refuse to speak to me?” Pilate said. “Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?”
11 Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.”
12 From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jewish leaders kept shouting, “If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar.”
13 When Pilate heard this, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judge’s seat at a place known as the Stone Pavement (which in Aramaic is Gabbatha). 14 It was the day of Preparation of the Passover; it was about noon.
“Here is your king,” Pilate said to the Jews.
15 But they shouted, “Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!”
“Shall I crucify your king?” Pilate asked.
“We have no king but Caesar,” the chief priests answered.
16 Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified.”

I can’t find any indication that God is against the death penalty. Murder, yes. Penalty of death for crimes determined by the justice system, no. Do I sort of want to feel that God is against the death penalty? Yes, I kind of think it would be an easier opinion to have, one that would not well up in me a sense of injustice. I just choose to submit my feelings to the authority of God, not because it’s easy, but because I don’t know any other source of authority to which I should submit.

My answer to the question, then, is yes, I believe that the death penalty is acceptable. Would all Christians agree with me? Certainly not.

In light of the recent execution in Georgia, which I assume prompted the original question, I would ask a different question of myself. Do I believe that the implementation of the death penalty is acceptable? In short, no. In some cases, yes, in others, no. I really don’t know all of the details of the recent execution to pass judgment or have an opinion as to whether justice was indeed served properly. Just as with any institution of humanity, we have a distinct strength for making a royal mess of all things good. Do I believe in marriage? Absolutely. Do I believe in the implementation of marriage by all people? No. The list could go on…

I will have to agree with JKF that the “discomfort of thought” is indeed far too often avoided, especially by myself. So, I hope you’ve been discomforted for a few minutes, long enough to agree with me that easy answers are hard to find for complex questions.

House Hunting: Good for the Soul

Why is house hunting good for the soul? You may be thinking, that's ridiculous - that process causes nothing but stress and strain, draining every ounce of your being in the process of draining every cent from your bank account. True. However, below are a couple of reasons that I believe this stress, strain, and drain is in fact good for my soul.

(1) Nakedness: No, I am not house hunting naked. However, as you probably know, your value, your identity, and your power are all boiled down to dollars in the process of making a real estate purchase. What is your salary? Your exact salary? What about the value of your debt? Assets? It doesn't matter what you wear, who your friends are, where you grew up, your daddy's name, or whatever else might give you an extra edge in life sometimes. All the ways that you dress yourself up for your work or your social life will fall away, and you are valued simply as the sum of your bank accounts. When you are staring at a page of numbers that sum up your value, it makes you feel very naked. This is good for the soul in that it challenges us to define what we claim as our value. I personally find my value in Christ, in the freedom that he died to provide me, and in the forgiveness that God grants because of his work on my behalf. What defines your value to yourself?

(2) Commitment: I am the first to line up as a member of Generation-X and claim my right to freedom of choice as well as my right to avoid commitment at all costs :) This is all very appealing except that it ultimately does not satisfy. The freedom that we crave to roam this world is ultimately a license to loneliness. I have been nomadic for the last 5 years, not in attempt to pursue that freedom, but in a time of career transition. I cannot describe the freedom that I feel as I am making a decision to commit (for the second time) to a job, a place, a community, and a home. These are not entirely known entities other that the job, but it is good for the soul to seek and accept consistency in the life we surround ourselves with.

(3) Purification: I am referring to the baring of the core of who we are before self, family, realtor, and mortgage broker. House hunting raises a lot of deep questions that looking for an apartment or rental house just doesn't dig into. What is it that you really want? Who do you really want to identify with as your neighbors? Why? What do you have to have and what can you live without (refer to previous point - there are only so many dollars to go around). It is a healthy exposure of our inner desires and a purification in the sense that we must sometimes accept that what we crave is not to be satisfied with any "thing" in this world. I crave a sense of home, a place of comfort, of acceptance, of carefree simplicity, and of relaxation. This is what some would call a fantasy - indeed - but it is also the desire within me that craves a life everlasting. I am reminded of this craving as I accept the realities of what a home in this world can and cannot provide. It is a purification of desire.

So, while my soul is a little bit uneasy and a lot overwhelmed, I am thankful for this and so many other areas of life that challenge us on the soul level.

Little Seed

I had a little seed. I buried the seed in some dirt. Seeds are supposed to grow, so I assumed that it would grow. Days went by, then weeks, then months went by, and the dirt did not change. So I talked to the seed, “Please grow, little seed. I really want to see what you can become.” But nothing happened. So then I prayed, “God, please make the seed grow into something.” This I knew would work. But it didn’t. Then, miraculously, something did happen. Something did begin to grow in the dirt. But it was not growing from the seed. It was a weed. As more weeks went by, a few more weeds grew, but the seed did not produce. Now I was having to work hard, pulling weeds just to keep the dirt free from them, but nothing grew from the seed. What a waste, I thought, all this work just trying to maintain the status quo, and no fruit. Then I decided, well, I’m already having to work at this… I’ll try to help the seed. So I started to add water to the dirt. Every day I pulled weeds and added water, and asked God to make the seed grow. The days went by and turned to weeks. People started to ask me why I was wasting so much time on this seed. “Are you sure it’s worth it, they asked?” I replied, “Not totally sure, but now I am accustomed to the work.” Then one day, it happened! A little hint of green from the seed peeked through the dirt. Finally! I decided my work was done. I stopped watering, stopped weeding, and stopped praying. Would you believe that the seed stopped growing? That little hint of green, that promise of rich fruit, just stayed stagnant. And the weeds kept growing around it like crazy. Now the people started to ask, “Why did you stop working?” I had no good reason. I wanted to see the fruit grow. I wanted other people to see the fruit. I wanted to believe that the faithful work was not for naught, and I wanted others to believe the same. But now I was busy with other things and did not have time to water and weed. So I prayed, “God, please help the little seed to keep growing.” Days went by, weeks went by, and nothing changed. Just more weeds. Finally, I decided that I must make time for the work. I made time every day to pull the weeds, to water the seed, and to pray for God to make it grow. And would you believe it actually did? The seed produced so much fruit that I could feed others around me that did not have seeds. Everyone began to talk, exclaiming of this great fruit. When they realized that work and prayer together could make seeds grow, they all began to plant seeds. Some grew weary of the watering and weed-pulling, but some pressed on and continued to pray for results. As for me, I was convinced - pulling weeds, watering, and praying for God’s help were a small price to pay for the rich and abundant fruit.

Who was Michael Cave?

Who was Michael Cave? The short answer: He was a teenager in Augusta, GA. He got sick 12 days ago, was unconscious within a few days, and he died 8 days ago. I didn’t know Michael. I saw his name and his picture on Facebook the week that he was sick. Many were praying for him that week, for his healing and recovery. The day after Michael died, I ran into his youth pastor in Augusta. Along with the harsh reality of Michael’s death, he proclaimed with confidence the glorious truth about Michael, “He is 100% healed. He’s with Jesus.” This was not a trite statement, not an empty catch-phrase said to bring false comfort, it was and is the truth, the reality of a promise that even most believers in Jesus have a hard time grasping. Michael was a believer in Jesus, and his family asked their pastor to share one thing with their church family 2 days after his death: He had no time. He got sick, and then he was unconscious before anyone knew what was happening. He had no time to ask questions of God, to wrestle with God, to decide once and for all if he would believe in this God and in His son Jesus. Thankfully, he had already made this choice. I am sharing this brief story because the question I started with, “Who was Michael Cave?” is the wrong question, though I have no doubt he was a great person and will be dearly missed. The right question for me and for us all is, “Who is Michael Cave’s God?”

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.” -Isaiah 40:28

Life and Tents

I went camping this summer, for the first time in a long time. I drove up to the campsite with a co-worker of mine, while her husband and my boyfriend had driven up earlier to go biking in the woods. When we arrived, the guys were still out biking and by the text messages they sent, they were really tired and worn out. So while we waited, we decided to serve the guys by putting up the tents so they wouldn't need to do so after such a hard ride. Laura encouraged me to put David's tent up without her so that when he got back I could impress him with my tent skills. So I worked and worked and managed to erect all of the pieces into this structure:

Unfortunately, the tent is actually supposed to look more like this (credit Sierra Designs):

Hmmm, showing off my tent skills was not really working out well at all! Lucky for me, the campsite right next to us had a nearly identical tent, so I was able to see the end product, start over, and have the tent in pretty good shape when the guys returned.

It's amazing the difference it makes when we have a picture of what the end goal is as we are working towards it. In all of life, whether it be in school, our work, competitive sports, relationships, or simply getting from day to day.... if we just have a picture in mind of what the goal is, the chances of creating a ridiculous and unusable tent are much lower :) So the next time you find yourself frustrated and disappointed with the tents you are contsructing in life, take a step back and look around... See if you can spot a tent to model yours after.

God Bless America

Sometime after my last post (ok about 2 months after), Spring began in Ann Arbor. I guess I didn't feel much like writing blogs when I could actually go outside without freezing my tail off. The summer was a good one, the highlight as usual being my favorite holiday, the 4th of July. I went to Mackinac Island (in Northern Michigan) to celebrate, and it was a great place to be for the Fourth. The largest attraction on the island, other than a large and very fancy hotel, is a colonial war fort, Fort Mackinac. A few pics from that weekend...



Directly in front of Fort Mackinac is a large grassy park area where people could just sit and relax, play frisbee, sunbathe, read, or in my case, work on a remarkable sunBURN (of course unintentional). This was a view from that park, looking out over the marina into Lake Superior. Mackinac Island is located in the Mackinac Straits, which connect Lake Superior to Lake Michigan (I think). I don't have a picture, but you can also see the Mackinac Bridge from the island. I think it is the longest suspension bridge in the Western Hemisphere.



Another interesting aspect of the island is that there are no motorized vehicles (with the exception of a firetruck and an ambulance). Everyone gets around by waking, biking, or riding horses or horse-drawn carriages. I snapped this photo of "Mackinac traffic" one afternoon:

By far the most popular souvenir from Mackinac Island is fudge. And for people like myself who don't want to buy the fudge, a popular pasttime is walking around and getting fudge samples from the oodles of fudge shops up and down the main drag. I particularly enjoyed this partriotic fudge arrangement in one of the shop windows:

Boat all decked out for the Fourth:

All in all, despite the unexpected and unfortunate sunburn I got, I really enjoyed the weekend at Mackinac Island. On Sunday before taking a ferry back to the mainland, we spent about 4 hours watching the Wimbledon final between Andy Roddick and Roger Federer. Wow, that was a great match and perfect ending to a very relaxing and fun vacation weekend.

Spring Preview

Let it be recorded that today in Ann Arbor, on February 1, the temperature rose to 38 degrees. And the sun was blazing gloriously in the sky. It was truly a day to remember in the midst of what most people here have described as the worst Winter they can recall.

I never thought I would say this about 38 degrees, but it actually felt warm. In honor of this wonderful weather today, I did the following:

(1) wore a skirt to church (not happening when the temp is below 30)

(2) drove around with my sunroof open (after the ice all melted off the top glass)

(3) sported my under-used sunglasses

(4) went running in only one pair of pants, and a top of course

(5) opened all the blinds so Kelsey could bask in the warm rays (and she did)

Just when I was about to break out the flip-flops to make this day perfect, the clouds rolled in and the sun disappeared. Ok, flip-flops were just a bad idea, but can't a girl dream? I am thinking spring, just like this ice sculpture I saw last weekend beckoned me to do:

Last weekend when I went to see the International Ice Sculpture festival in Plymouth, MI, the temperature hovered around 8 degrees all day with a wind chill of -9. Here are a few other images from that frigid day. In the meantime, I will be thinking of spring and hoping the groundhog does not see his shadow tomorrow.

Mickey Mouse

with Amy in front of some sort of warrior

Sculpture by "Team Japan"; they made all the impressive ones

Nancy and I with our new President

Whiter than Snow

I remember last year reading my friend Leigh's blog about snow... she too was experiencing her first real winter in Michigan (and probably her last). She wrote of the picture that God gives us in the Bible that when are sins are washed away we are whiter than snow (Isaiah 1:18 "though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow"). As I have now been taking in the new experience of seeing freshly fallen snow, I've appreciated that it is truly a picture of purity.

I've also noticed that it does not take long after the snow falls in our midst for us to taint it's purity. I took this photo the other day while waiting at our downtown bus terminal. Notice the bright white snow on the far side of the driveway, contrasted with the yucky brown mucky slush that has been run over all day by buses. It would have to snow almost continuously for this world to remain "as white as snow", and the same is true for our souls. Thankfully, we serve a God who finds joy in continually forgiving and renewing us with his grace and mercy. My flesh is constantly tainting his handiwork (Isaiah 64:6 "all our righteous acts are like filthy rags"), but he in turn is constantly making me whiter than snow.

Typical January Stuff

The Pond Transformed

November 1, Fall

November 18, Chilly Sunset

November 19, Frozen!

(yes, the whole pond)

Winter Tally

As my first Winter in Michigan has begun, a few new items have become necessities, mostly things I have never had any use for before.

Ski Gloves (for biking to work): $15

Snow boots: $30, used (score!)

Warm hat: $10

Ice scraper: $3.50


Fresh snow on Christmas trees: Priceless!

Capturing Moments

I was never really interested in photography as a kid, though I did think cameras were very cool. As an adult, I've grown to appreciate images captured on film, or digitally, and I enjoy trying to capture my own. I've realized, though, that my appreciation of photography is rooted in a much deeper desire. First of all, I think there are two different types of photographs (this is just my perception, not necessarily the reality for people who know and study it). There are images that are created to be aesthetically pleasing, for which the context of them is either irrelevant or somewhat secondary to the beauty of the angle or color or some other visually appealing quality . I'll call these the artistic photographs. The second type is an image that is taken in an attempt to capture the very context in which it is taken, an attempt to capture the time and place and energy and emotion that were present as the shutter opened and closed. These are the realistic photographs. Now, I don't want to get all caught up in artistic versus realistic, as obviously those two terms are not mutually exclusive, but let's just say for the sake of my random thoughts that those are the two types.

I tend to crave the ability to take realistic photographs, to capture what I see and what I feel with one little flip of a switch. The reality is that this is a fairly unattainable goal. I realize that when I take a photograph in a particular moment, from a particular viewpoint, even I myself do not truly sense the whole reality of that moment when I view the image later. So my desire to share that moment with someone else is somewhat dashed. I am still happy to share a beautiful image, but I am disappointed that the whole of the moment cannot be captured.

As I am writing this, I'm wondering if maybe God feels the same way about his written word. He wants so much for us to understand just a little bit of how much He loves us, of what love truly is, of what unconditional love actually feels like, of how tenderly He adores His creation. But the words are just words, or are they? Can they look us in the eye and convey the compassion that He holds for us? Can they wrap their arms around us and assure us that we are loved? I have to say, I think God speaks to us beyond the words on the page, but I guess I am getting a little lost from the photographs. I just thought of that and had to throw it in.

Anyway, I think the underlying desire I have in trying to capture reality in a photograph is the desire to share the moment with someone. Not just share the moment with someone in the sense that they are standing right there and seeing the same image. More than that. I think I have a desire for someone, just once, to experience my perception of the world exactly as I do. I think there is great value in the fact that we all have individual perceptions and experiences, that we can discuss them and celebrate them and appreciate the same things in different ways, or appreciate different things in the same ways. But I think sometimes I just wish that I could share my little moments of appreciating beauty with someone in such a way that explanation isn't necessary. Wouldn't that be amazing? I have sort of realized, though, that I fall short every time I try to create this shared experience. I don't plan to stop taking pictures, but I think I will try not to expect anything from them anymore other than a nice way to bring back memories. Maybe I will discover some sort of artistic talent that does allow me to share moments with other people, but I have realized that photography doesn't quite fulfill that desire.

The Rise and Fall of Fall

The daily question becomes: Are there more leaves in the trees or under the trees?

At this point I'm just glad we can still see leaves at all.

Home in Michigan

I realized earlier today as I was walking around my little neighborhood that I haven't taken any pictures to share. So I just went for a stroll and snapped a few pics so those of you who will not make it up here (which is most of you) can see where I live. The community is a mixture of apartments and condos. Sara (my roommate) and I live in a condo which is really nothing fancy but is more than adequate.




You can see it is two story - those top two windows are both from my bedroom. There's also a very roomy basement which has come in very handy for storage. The one car garage is great, but of course it only holds one car. We have decided to rotate garage use on a monthly basis, and my month ended yesterday. There are some covered parking areas a short walk up the street, so I will probably try to snag one of those spots when the snow and ice get bad. It's a great little neighborhood with plenty of grass for Kelsey to enjoy on our walks. Like my place in Atlanta, there are little baggies for doggie "stuff" and little trash cans designated for said stuff.


One of the cool things that I probably don't take time to enjoy enough is a little pond right across the street. There are ducks and geese that hang out there, which Kelsey loves to keep an eye on. The ducks sometimes walk or fly across the street towards our building and go to the back of my neighbor's place for birdseed (or whatever she puts out there). So every few days or so I will see a big group of ducks right at our back door hanging out. I took a few pics of the pond - pretty picturesque, isn't it? I think I should take a lounge chair down there on nice days and sit by the water to read or something. Maybe I will. You can see a few of the little ducks in the second photo.